This cat candle holder is scary as hell, with the glowing eyes, crazy attitude and Mr. T gold chain. Oh and the bat wings. It’s nom nom time and fluffy isn’t f**king around! The only string this cat wants to play with is your intestines. Probably looks crazy as hell with a candle in him. It will probably scare any mice you have away for good.
Tag: spooky
Tombstone and Open Grave Ring
I love this Tombstone and Open Grave Ring from VonErickson, who also made these cool zombie graduation rings. The problem is, ever since I started wearing it, that open grave keeps filling up with corpses. I fall asleep and wake up to find a dead cockroach inside. I swat a fly on my arm and it lands right in the open grave. That’s all cool, but the tombstone gets new writing every time. When I killed that fly it read “Buzzkill”. When the cockroach was in there, it had the bug’s name along with a birth and death date and “Father of two million”. Crazy.
Ouija Board For Pets
This Ouija Board For Pets aka talking board will help your dog, cat, lizard and whatever the hell else you have, communicate with you. Or you can use the planchette to talk to your departed animals. Spoiler alert! You know what they all say? Feed me! Dead or alive, they all want the same thing. I don’t need a damn ouija board to tell me what my cat is thinking. He tells me just fine. Scratching up my furniture means he’s an a-hole, coughing up a hairball means he’s an a-hole, not that he’s sick, and jumping on my face in the morning doesn’t mean he’s hungry. He just wants to remind me that he’s an a-hole. That board only needs one large space reading A-HOLE.
Funko Mopeez Classic Horror Plushies
Feeling mopey? Yeah, me too.It’s cuz I don’t have any of these Funko Mopeez Classic Horror Plushies. I knew I was missing something in my life. It was a bunch of cuddly horror movie killers. You know what else is a horror movie killer? Diarrhea! Well, it’s a movie killer in general. Too many milk duds and a river of coke in my stomach. That’s why I always bring a change of pants to the theater. Lifehacks people!
Creature From The Black Lagoon Coasters
Dude, I love Creature From The Black Lagoon Coasters. The way you go up, up, up and get super high, then you fall so fast and the coaster goes all loop-the-loop and turns you upside down, so you puke in the face of the guy behind you and feel like you would rather be dead. Good times. Wait. Nevermind. Not those kinds of coasters. These are the kind that you set your drinks on. Much safer. I’m a daredevil when it comes to placing drinks on things. If I had these coasters, I would drink two drinks at once, so I could have a Creature double feature.