These Skeleton LED Gloves make your hands look like neon bones. I AM THE FUTURISTIC ROBOT SKELETON. Let’s get this rave started! Are raves still a thing? Do they rave about them? Does anyone have a spare pacifier I can borrow? One that hasn’t been in any orifices this time would be much appreciated. Yeah, very funny. Now turn down the lights and watch my hands do their thing!
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Tag: strange
Lighting Most Fowl – Dancing Chicken Lamp
What poultry offering do I have for you this time? How about a Dancing Chicken Lamp? Does it do the hustle? The Charleston? The Elaine from Seinfeld? I have no idea.
All I know is that this chicken has paid it’s Per-Dues and is ready to dance the night away. So crank up the volume and play some funky nuggets and some free range beats. This lamp is feather-pluckin’ insane son!
Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies
These Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies look delicious. I would buy ’em if I had the dough. Also would bake ’em if I had the dough. Which I dough not.
*Hack* *Hack* *Wretch* *Coughs all over a sheet of freshly baked cookies.*
You okay man? You sound like you’re hacking up a lung.
I’m fine. Just making some coughin’ cookies. Can’t make ’em without coughin’. *Looks at the recipe.* Ohhhhhhh. I see what I did wrong. Coffin, not coughin’! Oh well, everybody eat up. You might as well call in sick for work tomorrow right now. Patient zero is in the kitchen!
Update: These are cookie toppers. Not cookies. Cuz I’m a hungry idiot.
The Watch Frog Sees Everything
Why does this “watch frog” have it’s eye on me? You spying on me?
Just a lil-ribbit.
Okay cool. You didn’t see nothing right? Just a guy relaxing on a weeknight, watching some Netflix with a rubber chicken nearby. Anyway, watch that eye. You don’t wanna get frog-glaucoma. Hey, here’s a good one.
Why couldn’t the 1/8 Polish guy join the Polish military?
Cuz he was only a tad Pole. Hahahaha.
Nothing to say about that? Frog in your throat? I kid. I kid. Seriously though, stop watching me.*Pulls shade down and grabs rubber chicken.*
Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Grody
Hey toady. You grody. To the max! This Toad Horror Art Doll is what happens when you think you’re a princess kissing a frog, but really you’re kissing a nasty toad. Hate when that happens. Look at that face honey child! I done toad you it was fugly. That tadpole turned a tad ugly. At least she’s all dressed up to meet a nice young man. Even though she never will. You can’t win if you don’t play.
Speaking of which, these scratch off tickets really suck. I’m almost at the end of this brick of 500 and I’m still broker than an ugly toad girl. I’m playing! I should win! WTF universe! WTF!? I don’t want to be writing this blog forever and looking at Princess Toadstool over here! She looks like toad stool alright!
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