Zombieapocalypse.com Will Be Down During The Actual Zombie Apocalypse

zombiedomainOwn Zombieapocalypse.com for $50,000.00. That is one sweet domain name. I’m gonna buy it and put up all kinds of Zombie survival tips on it and ways to kill the various undead who are trying to eat your brain and chew on your liver.

Wait, what? We aren’t expecting to actually have any internet during the Zombie apocalypse? Like, no Wi-Fi or anything? That reminds me of the night that tree knocked the power out on my block for like 2 hours. I’ll never forget the look in the rescuer’s eyes as his flashlight penetrated the night and he pulled me out from my nerd nest of open comic books and Cheeto’s bags. I was all huddled in a ball, too traumatized to do more than raise my head toward this sweet angel of mercy. I’ll never forget that shadowed face or his gentle and caring words. “Hey nerd. Get an effing grip! The power’s been up for an hour now! Now get off of my lawn! And take all of this s*it with ya.”

It’s amazing how we all come together in times of crisis.*tear sliding down my cheek* I just need a minute.

Zombie Toes: This Little Piggy Craved Brains

zombie toesZombie toes are just as nasty as the rest of the Zombie. Apparently Zombie toes each have little faces and mouths. Who knew? I run from Zombies, I don’t take their shoes off and inspect their undead feet. Now that I know, I am sickened and fascinated at the same time.

This little piggy killed at market, this little piggy craved brains, and this little piggy staggered all the way home moaning….I’ve seen some nasty toes in my day, but these guys are the worst. Do we know if athlete’s foot kills them? I’m gonna put ’em all in a sock and beat a Zombie in the face with ’em.

Click through for more undead toe jam mixed with funk and bone fragments.
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Beetlejuice Necklace

beetlejuiceI don’t have any evidence to support this, but this Beetlejuice Necklace may in fact keep Beetlejuice away if you say his name three times. In fact Beetlejuice-

Nuts! Now Michael Keaton is all up in my business, wearing way too much makeup and acting like he’s all hopped up on angeldust. Now I may have to spend $22 on this necklace to get rid of him.

What the hell is that racket? Stop going through my stuff man! How do I get rid of him? Oh, saying his name 3 times also gets rid of him? He’s gone now. I’m still ordering this necklace. Michael Keaton on crack is too messed up a house guest.

Captain America Zombie Skull

Captain American Zombie SkullIt’s Captain America. The first (undead) Avenger. Obviously Steve Rogers has seen better days. Instead of fighting crime, his days are now consumed with the search for more and more brains. This skull is going to look great on your wall or on your shelf.

It’s only $70 from Etsy seller Bonesart. What else are you going to do with that money? See the movie again? And be disappointed that the Captain is not even a Zombie? Buy an action figure? Forget that. You need more Marvel Zombie art. A few more images below.
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1981 Cadillac Fleetwood “Walking Dead” Inspired Hearse

zombie hearseWhen the dead start walking, you better have a sweet ride. Why run from Zombies, when you can get away in style? This 1981 Cadillac Fleetwood “Walking Dead” Inspired Hearse will help. It has an amazing Zombie paint job, bloody hand prints, a Zombie head hood ornament, an actual bloody hand under the fender and lots of other sweet details.

You can Buy it now for $12,200. Whether you are hunting Zombies, or running from them, this vehicle is the vehicle of choice for the apocalypse. Check out all of the detailed images below.
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