Hey, it’s the Ring of Dracula. Normally, when I hear the ring of Dracula, I don’t pick up the phone cuz the guy will talk your ear off. No, seriously, my ear is sitting on the floor collecting cat hair right now. Plus, he’s probably drunk again. No, this is the actual ring. The one he gave to Mrs Dracula when he proposed.
“With this ring I thee suck yer blood. Is Good?” Oh my yes! I do! I do!
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This Un-Happy Hour Skirt is full of monsters getting their drink on in some bar in Transylvania. Looks like a fun time. I have only one question. What does a mummy have to go through to take a s**t? Do you have to unwrap your entire body just to expose your mummy-butt so you can take a dump? Or do they have a convenient set of butt-bandages that open like a flap? Also, do they wipe with their own bandages or use TP? So many questions.
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Damn that’s a big book! This Vampire Journal is perfect for those interviews with a vampire. Also great for vampires who want to write a list of their victims or keep a list on who has bad blood etc. I have bad blood by the way, just so we’re clear. No use biting me. This huge book has 100 blank and bound pages and a nicely detailed cover. Dear Diary… I vant to suck your blood, but I will settle for writing on your pages.
Oh shizz! Did that Vampire just pop up in my face when I turned the page? Holy crap, that bat just flew across the page. This Dracula Pop-Up Book is the original 3D. This version of Bram Stoker’s Gothic tale has beautiful illustrations that will transport you to Transylvania. Did I mention that stuff is going to pop out at you? It’s all interactive and up in your bizzness. Try not to get your blood sucked while you are flipping pages. Checkout this Vampire bat string lights too. Light to read by.
Look at these twin Nosferatu heads. Those are some sweet Vampire Cufflinks. I’m assuming that rather than attaching them to your cuffs yourself, they just kinda bite down and do it themselves. Probably drawing some blood in the process. So that by the time you get done with your fancy event, you basically have bled out. I can’t decide if they are ugly or cute. Maybe both. Great accessory. Maybe bring some band aids with you.
They beat these Human Teeth Cufflinks.