Check out these Black Spiked Mouse Mace Ears. Mace ears? No mouse ears. Well… Yeah mace ears. Keep your weapons where everyone can see them. This piece of headgear is a mace-terpiece. Forget the space race, the mace race is where it’s at and these ears are winning. Why swing a mace when you can just put it on your head and charge at someone like a bull. Sounds good to me. I’ll get the red cape and meet you in the arena. Just don’t hit me in the butt with your mace horns.
Tag: weapon
Shotgun Toilet Plunger
Do you have a clogged up colon? Has this led to the plumbing in your home also having a clogged colon? First, try more fiber, then get this Shotgun Toilet Plunger. It will make short work of clogged toilets.
Plunging the clogged feces from your toilet has never been more fun. Plunge it down and pull the trigger like you’re a redneck hunting gophers. That’s how a real man clears some pipes.
BOOOOOOOOM. Toilet shatters. Poop fountain sprays everywhere. Okay, who replaced my plunger with a real shotgun? Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But this is the third time and the landlord is getting pissed guys. Come on!
Sawed-Off Shotgun BBQ Grill
This sawed-off shotgun grill is loaded full of buckshot. And by buckshot, I mean steaks, hamburgers and pork products shaped like weenies. Pig weenies if you will. I just like saying weenies. This $9,550.00 grill is perfect for my next backyard party.
Since it smokes out of the barrels, I’m just gonna push the barrels over the neighbors side of the fence. I’ll be grillin’ on my side, they’ll be- Oh sh*t, I pushed both barrels through their living room window. I’m not gonna sweat it though. They won’t be home for another two weeks. When they get home they will deduce that they obviously left their oven on, hence all the smoke. The heat broke their window too. Damn. Y’all better get cleaning. Yeah, that’s why I grill outside in my double barrel. Laterz.
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Hammer Nunchuks: Practice Is Deadly
I remember nunchuks. I spent hours alone in my room, practicing the art of hitting myself in the head, trying to look like Bruce Lee. Even now everything before nunchuks is a blank. And I drool a lot. These Hammer Nunchuks are even more deadly.
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