You know when you are walking outside and you get a spiderweb in your hair? So you scream and try to get it off and you end up on your hands and knees crying? This Spiderweb Hat Spider Headpiece is like that. Only on purpose.
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive… Yeah, but practice makes perfect. And I’ve practiced smacking myself all over the head every time I get a spiderweb in my hair. I can no longer remember people’s names, but I’m pretty sure I’m spider-free.
Check out these Black Spiked Mouse Mace Ears. Mace ears? No mouse ears. Well… Yeah mace ears. Keep your weapons where everyone can see them. This piece of headgear is a mace-terpiece. Forget the space race, the mace race is where it’s at and these ears are winning. Why swing a mace when you can just put it on your head and charge at someone like a bull. Sounds good to me. I’ll get the red cape and meet you in the arena. Just don’t hit me in the butt with your mace horns.
This Drinks With Death Halloween Fascinator doesn’t scare me. I’ll drink death under the table. ANOTHER! *Slams shot glass down on the table. Wipes my lips with my arm. Stares intently at death. Then passes out and hits the table after the first drink.*
This fun Halloween Fascinator (That’s a fancy word for putting absurd things on your head.) has a drunken skeleton clutching a cherry-topped cocktail and a light-up brain. Which describes the end of my work day pretty well actually. He’s even laying in the same position, except I’m clutching my computer, not a brain. There are also two eyeballs.
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Damn! I had no idea that the next Mad Max was being filmed in the swamp. Calling it now! Gatordome! Two gators enter, one gator leaves. And there’s a tailgater outside. Seriously that’s a croc.
I’ll tell ya what’s not a croc. This veil. This Gator veil can be worn to swampland funerals and Bayou barbecues, but don’t wear it to Louisiana lunches, cause Louisiana lunches only have one thing they’re serving up. That’d be you gator-bait!
Later alligators, after while Tetris tile.
Read more “Gator Veil: Worn On The Bayou, Lord, Lord”
This Ghostbusters Slimer Headpiece Mask lets you play the role of slimer this Halloween. I would wear a black robe to hide my body, so it looks like slimer is floating through the night. Then when Bill Murray or Dan Akroyd or, well anybody, gets close…I’m gonna spit on them. You’ve been slimed fool.
Dude that’s nasty! How’d you get the slime all green and gooey so that it sticks to people’s faces?
That was the easy part. I drank lots of mountain dew and I’ve been chewing on nothing but green gummi bears. Been saving that in my cheek all night like a chipmunk.