This Silicone Toothpick Holder lets you practice the ancient art of voodoo in reverse. Basically you fill it full of toothpicks so that your target feels like a pin cushion and then every time you need a toothpick, you remove one, giving your target some much needed relief. Not that you should practice voodoo. Voodoo is bad mmmokay? Anyway, enjoy your little human porcupine. Try not to hurt him or her too much.
Tag: ouch
Zip Up, Zip Down: The Zipper Necklace
Be super stylish and fashion forward with this Zipper Necklace, whether you are zipped up or zipped down. Little known fact: I have a zipper phobia, better known by it’s Latin name Penicus-Caughticus-Zipperus. Every time I look at a zipper I scream as if in pain and go down on my knees while clutching my man-junk. Not a pretty sight.
No way I could date a woman with this accessory. Every time I looked at her chest(Which I would do often because I’m a guy) I would be doubled over, holding my pee-pee. I guess it wasn’t meant to be my love. You should have chosen a button-fly necklace. Ado ado. Parting is such sweet sorrow. Owie! It hurts again!
Ancient Golden Tribal Knife Of Tetanus And Rust
This here knife is why it doesn’t pay to go all Indiana Jones and dig for buried treasure. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom? More like Indiana Jones and the Tetanus shot. This evil knife is just waiting to slice somebody and kill them dead. See that face? That’s the ancient Mayan face of the knife-wielding God I’Cut’U’N’Laf’a’lot. He finds this stuff hilarious. The worst part is, after this thing cuts you, it will just lay there and stare at you. Only $99. on Ebay.
One more image after the break. My God…It’s full of rust.
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Hammer Nunchuks: Practice Is Deadly
I remember nunchuks. I spent hours alone in my room, practicing the art of hitting myself in the head, trying to look like Bruce Lee. Even now everything before nunchuks is a blank. And I drool a lot. These Hammer Nunchuks are even more deadly.
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Antique Chinese Freddy Krueger Gloves
The seller of these Chinese copper gloves has no info on them, but I know that they are an ancient evil passed down through the ages. The latest tormented soul to wear them was Freddy Krueger himself. They slice, they dice and you’ll like the price. $69.99
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