How would you like to walk down a dark spaceship corridor and see this Alien Xenomorph staring at you? Honestly, I wouldn’t mind as long as he brought some doughnuts. I’d probably eat all of the doughnuts first and then scream. That’s just good manners when someone brings you a gift. At first, I saw all of the green on this figure and I’m like, “Is that boogers? It looks like boogers.” Then I remembered that aliens have green blood and I’m like, “Hmmm. I have flicked a lot of blood on my walls. Even by alien standards.”
Tag: xenomorph
Alien Xenomorph Looking Sharks Caught Near Taiwan – Get Away From Her, You Fish!
The world continues to get crazier and more nightmarish every day and not just because I just dropped two ice cubes in a whiskey glass only find out I’m out of Nyquil. Well, mainly because of that, but also because of these Alien Xenomorph Looking Sharks that were recently snagged by researchers near Taiwan. Yes, they look like Alien Xenomorphs. Yes, I’m not sleeping anytime soon. Are those snake teeth on a shark? Yes they are. They can move their jaw beyond their mouth. *Sigh. Shakes Nyquil over the ice one more time. Nothing comes out… Again. Looks out the window.* Oh, now I see the problem. BRB.
*Returns with new bottle. Pours it. Drinks. Ahhhhhhh.* Silly me, trying to drink Nyquil when it’s day outside. Luckily I have a fresh batch of Dayquil. That hit the spot. Don’t try this at home. I’m what you call a professional.
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8-Bit Horror Villains From Funko
Something wicked this way comes. Shhhhhhhh.It’s my ex-wife. I’m pretending I’m not home. But something cool is also coming. 8-Bit Horror Villains From Funko. This series features Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees and a Xenomorph. I can’t wait to see who else they add in the future. I would buy them myself, but the ex-wife just found me and she left with my money. Sad face.
Alien Xenomorph Plush Toy
Awww. Look at the cute little Alien Xenomorph Plush Toy. Sit. Good boy. Roll over! Good job. Play dead! Why aren’t you doing anything? *Attacks my face.* ARGHHHHHHH! Get off me! Get off me! Fine, I’ll play dead. Damn! Surely this smiling and soft little Xenomorph wouldn’t hurt anyone. Well, aside from what’s left of my face. Seriously, it’s all good. Take this guy off my hands. Please? I have to sleep with one eye open. C’mon guys. Somebody take him. Didn’t even leave enough face for a Facehugger!
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Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers
OpheliasChest makes some pretty terrifying jewelry. I for one, have never seen OpheliasChest, cuz I look her in the eye. I’m a gentleman. I also still have two black eyes from the last time I got caught looking at some boobage. Is it a little nippy in here or is it just me? Anywho, check out these Alien Xenomorph and Egg Chokers. They also have matching bracelets. These accessories are horrifying, yet awesome. I hope those eggs don’t hatch a facehugger, cuz that’s an accessory you don’t want any part of. No one wants their face hugged off. You hear my Aunt Sue? And your kisses are all slobbery and gross.
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