What’s with all of the mythical creatures stealing gnomes? First we had Bigfoot kidnapping gnomes and now this Garden Gnome Kidnapped By Gargoyles Statue. What, is there some kind of gnome shortage in their world that we don’t know about? Why do you need gnomes in your world anyway? Hell if I know. Maybe they worship them or something. I just want to say one thing: Gnome more Gnome stealing.
Tag: yard art
Day of the Dead King and Queen Skeleton Statues
Today may not be the Day of the Dead, but that doesn’t mean I won’t buy these Day of the Dead King and Queen Skeleton Statues and put them in my yard. It also doesn’t mean I won’t kneel before the royal couple and pledge my loyalty to them. Hey, I need structure. I’m best when people or skeletons are giving me orders. That way I have someone to blame all of my bad decisions on. So what would you have me do my king and queen? Rob a liquor store? Well, if it’s for the good of the kingdom…
Sadly, that’s how I found out that skeletons don’t have access to bail money. They also don’t care that your cellmate also wants to be your boyfriend.
Garden Gnome Kidnapped By Gargoyles Lawn Statue
Looks like we have some gnome-napping action happening here. I’ve seen this before. They are gonna tie that garden gnome up in some dark basement and demand a ransom from some old lady in a moo-moo whose life isn’t complete with her garden gnome. Gargoyles and gnomes are natural enemies, despite the fact that one sticks to the garden and the other perches on roof corners. Man, I hope the lady pays the ransom and they don’t off that gnome as an example. Bigfoot also likes to kidnap gnomes.
Life-Sized Bigfoot Statue For Your Yard
This Life-Sized Bigfoot Statue has some big feet, I guarantee it. This is exactly what I need to scare my neighbors. The mythical beast can now be in your yard, minus the foul stench and occasional sasquatch poo. Now you can have an encounter every night. Just go out to your yard. Just don’t let the real Bigfoot see this. They don’t take too kindly to imposters/
The Martians Are Coming!
This martian is going to look awesome in your yard. And I can tell ya from experience that they really look like this. It was a hot August night and I was drunk-riding home on my bicycle, cuz that isn’t illegal as far as I know. That’s when I saw this thing scurrying around the neighbor’s yard, looking grumpy as hell. When I spotted him, he jammed those tentacle legs into the ground and made like a tree. I just figured I was drunk and since I had to pee anyway… And now you know why he’s got such a grumpy look on his face. Hey, you disguise yourself as a tree on a backward planet, you’re gonna get the golden shower. I don’t remember anything after that, cuz I think he went all electric and shocked my weiner.
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