Wearing these Cthulhu Steampunk Goggles is like playing peek-a-boo with Cthulhu himself. Here, try these on. I’m blind! I’m blind! All I can see is Cthulhu’s tentacles. Get him off me! Get him off me! Oh wait, I had the lens caps on!
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Author: Artemis Winterford
Taxidermy Squirrel Santa Claus Christmas Ornament
Nothing says Christmas like a dead squirrel head wearing a Santa hat. This Taxidermy Squirrel Santa Claus Christmas Ornament will make sure that you have a very merry rodent filled Christmas. He doesn’t even have a neck. Dude is just all head and all hat. Like a floating ghost in search of nuts that he will never find. Well, unless you hang him on your tree at crotch level and lean in too close. Then it’s all screaming and blood dripping on the presents below.
Wreck The Halls – Moose Poop Christmas Ornaments
These Moose Poop Christmas Ornaments are not just moose turds that you fling at your tree. They are highly polished pieces of poop attached to various brass and other backgrounds. I was always told that you can’t polish a turd, but I guess Etsy seller sharkman123 has found a way. I especially like the one that is a butterfly carrying a big shiny steamer as if it’s going from one butt to another, pollinating poop. You don’t see that everyday. More like Butt-erfly. Am I right? Except this kind evolves from a scat-erpiller. And that’s the straight poop!
Merry s**ts-mas everyone.
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Skull Wrist Cuff – Skulls Everywhere
Damn! That dude’s wrist and hand look badass! He’s got a fist full of rings, all the right tats, a snake bone bracelet and a Skull Wrist Cuff. Doing a pose like he just claimed the power of Grayskull. I feel like I got punched, just looking at the picture. I did get punched! Cuz I just spit out 2 teeth! Damn, I don’t want any trouble man. I need a cuff like that so people take me seriously, cuz this My Little Pony bracelet just ain’t working. But it does go with my cutie mark. Just saying.
Look at them skulls, all large and in charge. They go great with a motorcycle too. Which means I would have to upgrade my big wheel and that just ain’t happening. I do wicked drifts on that thing. Meaning I drift off at the wheel after a six pack and just coast, but it’s cool cuz I’m the only one in danger.
Cool Reindeer Skeleton Cameo Necklace
Awww look at the cute reindeer skeleton just frolicking in the snow. This Reindeer Skeleton Cameo Necklace has nice bones. As you may already know, Zombie Santa uses a bunch of skeleton reindeer to fly to the houses of bad kids who don’t eat their vegetables and get caught playing with their pee-pees. In other words, dude was at my house every year terrorizing me. I never even met the real Santa. Just the creepy anti-Santa. Oh and one year Krampus came to the house and dragged me off in a sack so he could beat me with a stick. Oh yeah, Christmas is just great. Good times! That’s why ever since I turned 12, I just hide in the attic till it’s all over.
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