This is not your grandmother’s cross-stitch. I know, because I asked mine about this Krampus Cross Stitch and she screamed bloody murder and started ranting about the Christmas Devil. Then banned me from visiting her again. The legend of Krampus must include a trip to the Doctor’s office cuz he’s always sticking his tongue out, waiting for the doc to take a look. Open up and say ah Mr. Krampus. Hmmm have you been getting enough sleep? I would ask you for a pee sample, but last time we tried that, your pee of fire melted the sample cup and nearly burned down my office. Let’s just call it the flu shall we? Good? Good. See the receptionist for a prescription.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Albino Bat Spider Faux Taxidermy – Nightmare Fuel
He’s part spider, part bat, all albino. This Albino Bat Spider Faux Taxidermy is great for tricking your friends and telling them that you hunted this beast. Hunted it to extinction, which is why you don’t see them out in the wild. I like that it’s mouth looks so surprised. Whattttt? I’m on somebody’s wall? You sure are. Nice beard by the way. You got that whole snow white Santa thing going on. I bet the chicks love that. Looks distinguished.
Do I call it a spat? A Bider? An Albato? A Spalbino? A Spatbino? I’ll just call it nightmare fuel!
Hand Embroidered Centipedes
This is an original hand embroidery of centipedes crawling around some Cheetos dust. Perfect for framing and putting on your wall. I had this on my tablet sitting on the floor, so at first I thought this was a napkin that I dropped after accidentally eating a bunch of centipedes. So now my tablet has been smashed violently by my foot and is covered in vomit since I induced my anti-centipede vomiting protocol. You win some, you lose some. You puke some. You puke a lot actually. How the hell am I gonna explain this to the guys at Best Buy, when I tell ’em it came like that? Last week it was a puke covered VR helmet!
Krampus And Dark Elves Christmas Ornament Set
Celebrate your horror-days, I mean holidays right with this Krampus And Dark Elves Christmas Ornament Set.
Sing with me:
Silent night
Terror night
All is dark
All is fright…
These guys are like a badass band that you invited to Christmas and they started drinking and smashing stuff and before you know it, you are held hostage, tied up under the tree with wrapping paper. When will it end? Please God, when can I wake up?
Mini Skull Ornament – Merry Cranium Everyone
I need another creepy ornament on my tree like I need a hole in my head, but this Mini Skull Ornament looks pretty sweet. Ornaments like this make Christmas look like the day of the dead. Maybe I’ll put a little Santa hat on him or attach him to a reindeer body. This is sure to get me some extra gifts from Santa. Santa loves a creepy Christmas tree. Little known fact.