This Zombie Autopsy Key Chain is made from a doll head. Probably Barbie herself. It will help you to never lose your keys again. Cuz how can you lose your keys when they are attached to a zombie with his brain showing? You know what I just noticed? They have one of those fancy flame printed keys. Sweet! Dude probably has a hot rod with a matching paint job.
That’s okay cuz my key matches my car too. They’re both sh**ty and rusty. But I ain’t bitter.
I’ve seen my share of maggots. Don’t ask. But I’ve never seen a Monster Maggot before. I’m not even sure what to say about it. Cuz only bad things rhyme with maggot. And since that’s the grade level I’m at, I’m kind of at a loss. It’s a cyclops maggot cuz it only has one eye. Those teeth look pretty sharp. The face is pretty ugly too. Which is exactly what my dentist says to me. Followed by “Shhhh. Sleepy time now.”
VoodooDelicious sells some horrifying pet rocks. You can’t just go out in nature and find pet rocks like these, not that I’ve experienced nature ever. I’m chained to this computer so I can bring awesome stuff like this to your attention. These rocks rock! Don’t ever take them for granite!
I’m gonna put one of these on my desk to remind me that there are horrors in this world. And also so I can hit people in the head. You never know when you’re gonna need a weapon. And these rocks will look them in the face while bashing them. That’s gotta count for something.
At last, a lamp that makes my skull glow! Well, not my skull. What am I, radioactive? The skull/lamp skull. Alas, poor Horatio. I knew him well. I will miss him. He was always a bright guy… So bright I use his skull to read by at night. I think I might put this in my window and freak out the neighbors. And speaking of great ideas, it’s like this skull lamp is having a bright idea everytime you turn it on.
Don’t worry, no actual skulls were harmed to make this lamp. It’s 3D printed. Which I think means that they wear those blue and red glasses while they make it, so it jumps out at them and gives ’em a scare. Then they go back to work making skull lamps and the next one does the same thing. Pretty sure that’s what it means.
Yo, can I get some skull light over here? Trying to read a gripping novel over here. *Brings the light closer* I’ll be damned. I thought I was reading Shakespeare, but it was just the back of the cereal box. No wonder I didn’t understand it. I was reading Golden Grahams when I’m actually at a Trix reading comprehension level.
Read more “Interior Frighting – 3D Printed Skull Lamp”
I know that all of that wine is gonna kill my liver, so my bottle might as well have a coffin top. This Coffin Wine Stopper will help your liver and your wine RIP. That’s rest in peace. Just in case anyone thought I was typing a fart sound my butt just made. That would be more like riiippppp with a tight squeak. And it just happened for reals. Man, I need some coffin underwear now, cuz that one killed my colon. Scratch that. I just need new underwear.