Author: Artemis Winterford

Cheetos Demon Horror Doll

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Cheetos Demon Horror DollHoly cheesy Cheetos Batman! This Cheetos Demon Horror Doll eats to live and lives to eat. I guess you really are what you eat. Check out his little Cheeto pocket on his chest. I think I have that same outfit. *Looks down* I’m wearing it now! *Reaches for Cheetos. Om nom nom nom!* It makes sense that a Cheeto demon baby would prefer the Flamin’ Hot flavor! Me too!

*Keeps eating Cheeetos* Oh shizz! My skin is turning orange too. I’m a Cheeto demon nightmare! Wait. Nevermind. My skins been that way for years. It’s coated with the dust of a million snacks. Just like this guy. Hello brotha from anotha cheesy snack motha!

Coffee Mugs With Etched and Painted Tentacles

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Coffee Mugs With Etched and Painted Tentacles
Wow. So tenta-cool man! Look at those tentacles just wavin all over the place. Probably doing the wave! These Coffee Mugs With Etched and Painted Tentacles are awesome. Get yourself a face full of tentacles with your coffee or tea.
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Glow In The Dark Edgar Allan Poe Necklace

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Glow In The Dark Edgar Allan Poe Necklace
Check out this cool Edgar Allan Glow, I mean Edgar Allan Poe Necklace. It glows and glows and glows while Edgar Poes and Poes and Poes. No worries. You won’t be a Poe-ser if you wear this awesome necklace. And no one will call the fashion Poe-lice. You think your current necklace is this cool? Poe-lease! This Edgar Allan Poe Necklace is Poe-sitively Poe-tent!

Too much? Sorry.

*Sings*

He’s just a Poe boy from a Poe family, spare him his life from this monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will you wear this Poe?

Now I’m done.

Framed Human Prosthetic Eyes

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Framed Human Prosthetic Eyes
Serial Killer art is so…what’s the word I’m looking for? “It puts the lotion on!” These Framed Human Prosthetic Eyes will follow you around the room. Maybe even undress you with their eyes. Then gawk some more. Ewwwww! There are four pairs of eyes, all sizing you up. I don’t know what’s more disturbing the fact that this is a set of four eyes in a frame, or the fact that they all share the same skin. They should really all be looking at each other and forming an escape plan. Not that eyes can escape. If they could, my eyes would have bugged out when I first saw this thing.

Blood Splattered Coffin Coasters

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Blood Splattered Coffin Coasters
These Blood Splattered Coffin Coasters make every drink a morbid margarita, a deadly daiquiri, a corpsey cocktail, a macabre manhattan, a terrorizing Tom Collins, Death on the beach, a tequila of terror, a scary screwdriver, or a Long Island iced terror. Just set your drink down on one of these coasters, otherwise the wife will be putting you in a box and burying you six feet deep. Why do ya think I drink so much?