Author: Artemis Winterford

Frankenstein Monster And Bride Of Frankenstein Mugs

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Frankenstein Monster And Bride Of Frankenstein Mugs
Check out these cool Frankenstein Monster And Bride Of Frankenstein Mugs. After you’ve been married a few years, this is how you see each other anyway, so you might as well get them. Trust me, I was married for like 20 years one summer.

Now you can have his and hers monster mugs. Which won’t last long cuz she’ll just throw hers at you one morning and then blame you for it, then break your own cup to teach you a lesson. Then you are back to square one with no monster mugs. That’s just love. Also, possibly a lack of medication.
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This Is Spinal Tape

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this is spinal tape
This is…Spinal Tape! Now you can give your packages and other taped items some backbone. Also, I can tape this to the back of my shirt whenever my wife says, “Grow a backbone!” Ha. I have one now.

Now you can stick a spine anywhere. I’m gonna stick it all over my house so it looks like it is made of bones, paint it so it glows, then turn out all of the lights and watch the magic happen.

Large Jar of Garden Gnome Skulls

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Large Jar of Garden Gnome Skulls
Oh Gnome they dit’int! They filled some jars with gnome skulls. Not numb-skulls, which I get called on a regular basis, but gnome skulls. Have you gnome shame? I can’t look. I just feel gnome!

I had no idea that a Large Jar of Garden Gnome Skulls could look so creepy and horrible. Gnome more, please!

Gnome. Gnome on the range. Where the deer and the antelope play…with gnome bones.

Rubber Lips Wall Hanging

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Rubber Lips Wall Hanging
Whatcha doin’ rubber lips? Just being a Rubber Lips Wall Hanging and hanging around, waiting to be kissed? What’s that? If I kiss you, you’ll turn into a beautiful full fledged woman? Yeah, but will you still be rubber? Doesn’t matter, my last relationship was the same way. I’ll hang you at lip height so I can kiss you. Then the magic happens. Let’s just get rid of that cigarette first. Those lips sure are nice.

*Looks around to make sure nobody is watching.* You know what, that space is reserved for a poster I have my eye on. I’m just gonna put you wayyy down here at belt buckle level. Just below. Yeah, cuz wall space is at a premium. Hey, you know what…..

Chicken butt!

You people and your dirty minds. I just have very little wall space. Geesh!

Huge Mr. T Bottle Cap Sculpture

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Huge Mr. T Bottle Cap Sculpture
That’s good that you created my face first sucka. Now I can tell you that I pity the fool don’t have enough bottle caps to complete my bling! Mr. T Bottle Cap Sculpture gonna look good!

Whatchu waitin’ on fool. You best complete my chains fore I break your face! Whatchu mean you gonna get soda poisoning? Drink up fool. What the- T feeling drowsy. You best not dose T and put him on no plane. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The A-Team. I learned so much from that show. Like that you can drug people and kidnap them.