Incredible Melting Mandles. Man + Candles = Mandles. These candles are like little zombies that you can watch melt to the ground in three hours. Light him up, watch his last hours on this Earth. Only $15. from Etsy seller Stexe.
Click through for more pictures and an awesome rock solid video demo of these mandles. You’ll want to get yourself a little trash bin to go with these guys.
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This Batman: The Dark Knight Journal looks like it was made by the Joker himself. It’s so nice that Arkham Asylum provides its guests with arts and crafts projects. You can write all of your deepest darkest desires in this fun journal as well as contemplate any of life’s burning questions. Like, “Why so serious?”
And if you are crazy enough, you might open it up later to find that someone else has answered your question. In your handwriting.
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Just in time for Thanksgiving. It’s the Turkeyzilla Tote Bag With Drumstick Coin Purse. This ain’t no poultry handbag, but it will gobble up all of your essentials thanks to it’s large inner cavity. You get a bonus drumstick coin purse. Sweeeet!
You have to make it yourself from the pattern, which will probably still be a lot faster than cooking a Thanksgiving day turkey.
Yabba Dabba Doooooo! You and your family can be a Neanderthal family this Halloween. Etsy seller Becozy has everything you need for just $65. She is even offering to throw in some scraps of loincloth to cover your baby carrier or stroller.
Nah. I prefer to cloth my family in the skin of my own kills. Which is probably why we all walk around half naked. Animals are just too fast and I’m too flabby. They always seem to hear the old Walmart scooter coming. I eventually lose my prey after stalking it through one aisle and then I get all out of breath from hitting the brake lever. That’s what I call a full day. Oh wait. That’s shopping. Not hunting and gathering.
I lied. I’m not part of the Walmart biker gang, “Hell’s (very large and slow) Angels”, but if I keep eating cheetos and playing video games I’ll get there eventually.
X-Ray vision. All of the cool superheroes are doing it. Sadly, we mere humans don’t possess the ability. Believe me, I’ve tried. The X-Ray specs in the back of the old comic books don’t work. They just get you punched in the face by angry females.
If you want to feel like you have crazy awesome powers while playing a game of poker, try these awesome X-Ray Playing Cards. You can see through them, but your opponents can’t see what cards you have. They must be made with some kind of X-Ray voodoo magic.
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