I can’t imagine anything scarier than a woman in need of a tampon who enters a public restroom only to encounter this terrifying tampon dispensing machine. This thing actually works. You can buy it for $75, fill it with tampons and hang it in a restroom somewhere, getting rich 25 cents at a time.
Until some angry and cramping PMS sufferer smashes it with a baseball bat anyway. Oh well. Was a good plan anyway.
*Angry woman busts through the door* WHO PUT THAT OFFENSIVE POS ON THE BATHROOM WALL?
*Me pointing to some random dude* It was him. He also said you look bloated. I said you have a soft glow about you. I’ll just get out of the way as you unleash your inner once-a-month-fury on him, while pretending you see your husband’s face.
Experience the horror of a spoon that does not allow you to eat soup. These Friday The 13th Jason mask spoons will be great for those on a diet since half of your food will be gone by the time it gets to your mouth. Etsy seller 
At last I can safely transport my banana from the store to my house without it getting a single bruise. This 
Stomp all over the Empire with these 
Wear your intestines on your feet with these