Author: Artemis Winterford

Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue

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Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue
Check out this Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue.

Oh man, I don’t feel so good. Must have been something I ate. I think I’m just gonna lie down over- AHHHHHHH! Something’s ripping up my insides and for once it’s not a fart. OH GOD! OH GOD! *Alien bursts out of my chest* Are you as surprised to see me as I am to see you? Cool. Technically you’re my kid you know. I just gave birth to you. And I want to thank you for being considerate enough to not burst out of my rectum. *Kisses his slimy head, then it bites my face off*

Dinner With Ghosts – Ouija Board Table

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Dinner With Ghosts - Ouija Board Table
This Ouija Board Table is perfect for any evening when you want to have dinner and a seance. In any order you prefer. Make sure you drink some spirits with your meal. Just don’t drink real spirits. That’s called possession. Which is nine-tenths of the law, but also a horrifying ordeal. So don’t do it. Also make sure you hover the planchette over GOODBYE after every meal, when you get up. It’s just good manners.

12 Ron English Cereal Killers Mini-Figures Set

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12 Ron English Cereal Killers Mini-Figures Set
One word, four syllables. DI-A-BEET-US. American cereals will kill ya, what with all of that new-fangled die-fructose and all. These cereals are Cereal Killers, with killer mascots. So while they’ll put ya in the hospital, at least ya have something to collect with this 12 Ron English Cereal Killers Mini-Figures Set.

This series includes:

1x Cap’n Cornstarch
1x Sugar Frosted Fat
1x Yucky Children Charmer
1x Sugar Smack
1x Franken Fat
1x Count Calorie
1x Tricks
1x Froot Looped
1x Obesie O’s
1x Coco Puffed Paunch
1x Sugar Diabetic Bear
1x Qhrist

The obesity is strong with these toys.

Ghost Train Filmed on CCTV in China

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Ghost Train Filmed on CCTV in China
Check out this Ghost Train Filmed on CCTV in China. This is some real end of the world Ghostbusters shizz right here. I wonder if it’s picking up ghost passengers so they can go to their ghost homes and have some ghost dinner, then maybe take a ghost dump. Reminds me of that Cat Stevens song.

Cause I’m on the edge of darkness
There ride the Ghost Train
Oh, Ghost Train take this country
Come take me home again….

Great tune. All aboard!!!!!

via Mirror

Get Kraken – Kraken Whiskey Tumbler

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Kraken Whiskey Tumbler
There be a Kraken in me tumbler. If you think a worm in your tequila is cool, this Kraken Whiskey Tumbler puts a Kraken on in your drink. The kraken is deeply carved into the thick glass bottom giving a perfect 3D effect from above and the sides. Better get Kraken and drink up. Whiskey just tastes better with a sea monster inside. I’m gonna fill my entire bar with these glasses.