Category: Creep Wear

Gargoyle Engagement Ring

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Gargoyle Engagement Ring
This Gargoyle Engagement Ring features two Gargoyles resting by the roof of a building. You know how you make a Gargoyle? Get engaged. Get cold feet. Then get on the roof and prepare to jump. And since you suck at that too, just sit there for eternity. That’s how you create a Gargoyle.

Yeah, but how do then turn to stone then? Explain that.

The wife shows up below and looks at him.

Huh?

They were about to marry Medusa.

Wow.

Yeah, she has been left at the alter soooooo many times. She’s pretty bitter about it.
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Gigantic Monster Turtleneck

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Gigantic Monster Turtleneck
Gigantic Monster Turtleneck. For when you absolutely, positively, have to look like a giant mitten. I would wear this thing all day. Gonna buy two so I can relax and Netflix and Chill with myself all week long, and occasionally change my shell like a hermit crab. I’ve already been accused of looking like a giant slug while I lay about in my undies. Might as well go full pupa and be the giant man-insect-larvae I was born to be.
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Bat Compact Mirror

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Bat Compact Mirror
This Bat Compact Mirror will make putting on your makeup even more fun. It’s just you and your bat-mirror, fixin’ up that face! Well I- No, let me get a word in- I didn’t mean your face isn’t pretty already. I’m just saying that bats are great makeup wingmen, because they actually have wings. This compact is all kinds of Victorian, steampunk, bat punk, gothic, not to mention I just ran out of adjectives.

If I were a woman, I’d be putting on makeup all day long just so I could use this cool mirror and brag how cool it is, and be snooty, and talk about how beautiful I am. Yeah, I would be a B**ch… A b**ch with an awesome accessory, that you don’t have! Am I right ladies?
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Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch Necklace

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Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch
It’s always tentacle time when you wear this Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch Necklace around your neck. Is it ten-tacle past five yet? I have an important appointment. Funny behind the scenes fact: At first I typed “I have an impotent appointment.” But that isn’t true. I can assure you that everything is working fine here. I repeat I AM NOT seeing a wiener doctor because my Ballpark frank is stuck in cocktail weenie mode. Glad we could clear that up.

So anyway, this is a sweet ass pocket watch with an octopus. That you can wear around your neck. Pry open those tentacles and you get to see the time even. We live in an amazing time. I mean, hell, doctors these days can cure anything- No, I didn’t mean- Trust me, I’m all good down there. But if I wasn’t, it would only happen that one time. Perfectly normal!
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Evil Bunny Backpack

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Evil Bunny Backpack
This Evil Bunny Backpack is freaking me out. There’s a rabbid rabbit on my back. A horrible hare! And he’s wearing punk clothing. You’ve heard of the Easter Bunny right? Well, this guy is a feaster bunny. He’s gonna feast on your soul. Get it off my back! Get it off! Is it gone? Thank God. You watch my back, I’ll watch yours. Did you see that thing? The least it could do is wipe some of the crud off it’s mouth. Guy looks like he had an all you can eat buffet at Three Mile Island!