Category: Creep Wear

Ghostbusters Terror Dog Ring

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Ghostbusters Terror Dog Ring
I know what you’re thinking. You saw that headline and you thought there was a Terror Dog Ring operating out of your city. You probably pictured scary dogs wearing gangster suits, who also happen to bust ghosts. That’s what I thought too, but nope. It’s the actual terror dog from Ghostbusters, in ring form.

Wear a couple so people will look at your hand and go, “Nice dogs man!” This thing doesn’t scare me. That hot dog I had at the ballpark last year, that was a terror dog. If you want to glue someone to a toilet seat for like 4 hours, forget superglue. Feed them a substandard mystery meat hot dog and wash it down with like a half gallon of coke.

Mad Max Style Leather Wallets

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Mad Max Style Leather Wallets
These Mad Max Style Leather Wallets are pretty cool for when you need to pay with cash in the wasteland. Wait, I thought bottlecaps was the agreed on currency of the apocalypse. I’ve been saving them for years. You people better not change it now, cuz I don’t care. Even if just the lights go out, I’m paying for my stuff with bottle caps. Bottle caps and all of the kidney stones that all those bottles of Mountain Dew gave me. I figure a kidney stone is worth about 50 cents on the market, so by my calculations I’m a apocalypse millionaire.

These wallets are full of bad ass skulls and sinful stitches. Nobody’s going to mess with you when they see this wallet. This is the wallet of a cold killer. A bad sumb itch. A warrior. A Gothic Goliath. A guy who has all of his cash and cards organized just so. That’s a real mans wallet right there. *Hides my My Little Pony themed wallet and acts tough.*
Read more “Mad Max Style Leather Wallets”

Crocheted Skull Scarf

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Crocheted Skull Scarf
This Crocheted Skull Scarf lines your neck with a row of soft skulls, like you’re some savage wearing the skulls of other people. People made of crochet, who your people have no doubt wiped out in the name of fashion. You are gonna look super stylish. Skulls are in this year. How do I know? Every runway model is sporting one. And since they barely eat, you can see the whole thing on their gaunt faces.

Yeah, you gotta rock the skulls. And I don’t mean doing a drum solo on your noggin. Although that’s pretty fun too. Even if you have a headache for two weeks. I would wear this scarf. I like it so much I would scarf it right up. I ain’t spinnin’ no yarns.

Skeleton Zipper Hoodie In White Bones And Red Bones

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Skeleton Zipper Hoodie In White Bones And Red Bones
Check out these awesome Skeleton Zipper Hoodie In White Bones And Red Bones. I’ll get the white one and you get the red one, then we’ll be in rival skeleton gangs. I’ll call my gang the Fractured Tibias and you can call yours the Raging Red Skulls. I’ll always lose cuz my bones are brittle, but I promise I’ll always put up a good fight. I’m scrappy like that. SCRAPPY. Man, I’m getting pumped! Did you just flash gang signs at me? Oh, cool. Respect my bony brotha from anotha skeleton motha. We all good!
Read more “Skeleton Zipper Hoodie In White Bones And Red Bones”

Cool Monster Eye Pocket Watch Case Pendants

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cool Monster Eye Pocket Watch Case Pendants
Hey peeps. Do you like monster eyes? Like dragons and Krakens and stuff? TheArkanaWorkshop makes these awesome Monster Eye Pocket Watch Case Pendants. May the eye of the dragon be upon you. I’m not even sure what that means. An old man said that to me in a dream. I think it means it is my destiny to get one of these and wear it. Cool. The secret life that I have in my head rocks! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, these eyes in pocket watch cases are friggin awesome. These eyes look scary and creepy and totally badass. When I look at it up close, does the dragon see a human eye pendant looking back? Like it’s a portal to another world? If so, I’m gonna moon it.

*Drops pants. Shakes butt in front of dragon pendant.* How do you like that dragon? There’s a full moon out tonight in Hobbit land! Ha ha. Hope I don’t set off any werewolves on that side! *Fire erupts from the pendant as I run away trailing smoke from my burnt butt.*
Read more “Cool Monster Eye Pocket Watch Case Pendants”