Category: Creep Wear

Horror Themed Hair Bows

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Freddy Krueger Hair bow
MJistheBOMB makes all sorts of hair bows, but the weirdest are these Horror Themed Hair Bows. You have Freddy Krueger, which I really wish was a bow tie, Chucky, Bride of Chucky and Frankenstein. So put some horror in your hair. They are perfect for Halloween or just every day.

I would suggest wearing them with a beehive hairdo with white streaks, like the Bride of Frankenstein. Just my own un-professional opinion. I like my hos with bows. Did I just say that? Not really. It was the meds. They do all the bad things. They also find all of this cool stuff for you, so you can’t be too hard on them. I’ll have a quiet word and put them to bed. Talk later.
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Adidas Tiger Tail Sneakers: Catch The Tiger By The Tail

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Adidas Tiger Tail Sneakers Catch The Tiger By The Tail
These Adidas Tiger Tail Sneakers will finally let me live out my dream of catching a tiger by the tail. You do that with a real tiger and the tiger catches you by the hand and leaves ya with a bloody stump. Sadly, they aren’t my size. They’re for kids, who get all of the cool stuff. It really bums me out too, cuz my dream was to wear them while eating some Frosted Flakes. Mom would ask me if I liked my new shoes and I would shove my spoon hand in the air and yell, “THEY’RE GREAT!” then act like it never happened.

Oh well, you can’t live out all of your dreams. I feel like I’ve already accomplished a lot just by rising to the heights of “professional fat nerd blogger in underwear”. Wasn’t easy to get here either. Had to make a lot of sacrifices, like friends, love, thinness… Yeah, that’s why. Just leave it okay! I don’t want to talk about it. It IS NOT the Oreos! Anyway, a tiger doesn’t change his stripes. Well, not unless he has some spray paint.
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Victorian Vampire Evening Gloves

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Victorian Vampire Evening Gloves
Oh sexy. Nice gloves. Have you come to suck my blood and chew bubble gum and you’re all out of bubble gum? These Victorian Vampire Evening Gloves are super sexy. I said that already. Sorry. I get nervous and bashful around pale Victorian ladies. It’s also the first time I’ve had a crush on a pair of arms, so I’ll just practice my breathing and calm down. There, now I’m better.

Don’t be fooled by the name. These evening gloves can be worn in the day too. Well, assuming you can be exposed to sunlight anyway. The best thing about them? They fit like a glove. Probably made by Danny Glover. If you get into a fight, the gloves are off. They’re so nice you gotta handle them with kid gloves. Enough! I’m just nervous, that’s all. I joke when I’m nervous. I think I’m in glove.
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Cthulhu Ski Mask Warms Your Tentacles

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Cthulhu Ski Mask Warms Your Tentacles
This Cthulhu Ski Mask is awesome. Yet terrifying. It’s the best way ever to keep all of your tentacles warm in the winter. You probably shouldn’t wear this when you rob a store, but I know you will. You scamps.

Can you describe the man that robbed you?

Well, he was about this tall, had some horns, had a bunch of tentacles and looked like an ancient evil that has just awakened. That should narrow it down.

Laugh if you want, but Cthulhu will tell ya, your tentacles get pretty cold in the winter months. They have been known to snap off like icicles in extreme temperatures.

Awesome Scorpio Scorpion Necklace

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Awesome Scorpio Scorpion Necklace
All of the women in my life are Scorpios. How do I know? Because they always sting my heart and pinch it with their claw hands. Well, it was understandable in that one case. She had a deformity. All Scorpios should wear this Awesome Scorpio Scorpion Necklace so I can see them coming. That is one bad ass train of scorpions, all lead by the Scorpion queen herself, following the trail of tears that is the path to my heart. Great, now I’m depressed. I guess I have to pay more attention to the zodiac signs. See who I’m compatible with. Not that that ever works out.

Hey baby, what sign are you?

I’m a Sagittarius. What’s your sign? Baby on Board? *Points to my fat belly*

*Sigh.* Heh. Good one. I thought you were a cancer. You know, because of that mole. You should get that checked out. *Walks away*

Guess that showed her.