Category: Creep Wear

Horror Themed Halloween / Holiday Sweaters

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Horror Themed Holiday Sweaters
It’s that time of year again when horror and candy gathering collide. At least that’s what the guy in the local convenience store said last time I came in. Well, it’s also Halloween time. You, like I, need some cool Halloween shirts. I hope they come in XXL, cuz I’m an Xcellent Xcellent Lover. *Makes phone sign with fingers. Shakes it.* Call me ladies.

Mondo has unveiled a line of holiday horror sweaters. Choose from Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Freddy Krueger. They were designed by Middle of Beyond.
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Cartoon Jean Leggings With Rips And Tears

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tell it like you jean it
Hey lady, nice jeans. *Bats eyelashes.* Thanks, I guess I’m just drawn that way.

Why buy jeans when you’re just going to get holes and tears in them? Why buy jeans with holes and tears in them already? You can just buy these Cartoon Jean Leggings With Rips And Tears. The jeans are fake and so is all of the wear. Plus they look sexy as hell. Hey, I like a good cartoon butt as much as the next guy.

Cartoon butts just make me nuts!
These jeans don’t house no Pizza Huts.

Stuffed crust. Thin crust.
These butts don’t care.

They’re looking good in cartoon wear.

My Little Pony Rainbow Dash Heels: Friendship Is Dollar Bills

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My Little Pony Rainbow Dash Stripper Shoes
People, people, people. I implore you. (Look at me using the big words) Ya gotta keep your girls off the pole. Otherwise they’ll end up dancing in some dark stinky nightclub dancing in these My Little Pony Rainbow Dash Stripper Shoes for some sweaty fat creep who has like two dollars to his name and crumbs all over his shirt. I only went that one time, but that’s beside the point.

Why do they say Toxic Cherry on the side? Cuz when you pop that cherry, it’s like a pinata full of STDs in a green cloud. I’m just guessing. Rainbow Dash? More like Rainbow cash. Or My Little Pole-ny!
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Chemtrail Carl Latex Halloween Mask

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Chemtrail Carl Latex Halloween Mask
Hey Chemtrail Carl. What up? What’s all the puss? Ha. You know, cuz you have all of those blistery puss sacks on your head. Why ya staring at me with that one big eye? Giving me the stink-eye are ya? Maybe not. I don’t think that stink is coming from your eye. You need a bath dude.

You can be Chemtrail Carl for Halloween this year with this latex Halloween mask. I recommend not bathing for like a month just to be completely authentic. I know cuz I always run into this guy in the 7-11 parking lot.

Vampire Teeth Tights

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vampire teeth tights
If tights could talk, this one would say, “I vant to bite your butt!” Now that’s something to sink your teeth into. These Vampire Teeth Tights are adorable. Perfect for Halloween or just everyday creepwear. I gotta say those are some long legs. You can’t hear me, but I’m doing cat-calls right now and woot-ing it up!

Actually calf calls would be more appropriate since we’re talking tights. You got some nice calves and I ain’t talking baby cows. That lady over there? She’s got nice baby cows. You have nice calves. And that’s no bull.