Category: Creep Wear

Mad Science Brain Cap

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Mad Science Brain Cap
Put your thinking cap on. For real. This Mad Science Brain Cap makes it look like Dr. Frankenstein has been hard at work floggin’ your noggin. Technically it’s called the “The prefrontal cortex interference cap”, or PCIC, but that’s too many fancy words in a row for me. I just call it a “head case”, but that’s just me lashing out because that’s what I get called.

Words hurt people. If one more person looks at my fat man gut and asks me if I’m pregnant, Imma pee on ’em and tell ’em my water broke!
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Hoodie Pillow: The Hoodie And Pillow In One

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Hoodie Pillow
The Hoodie Pillow is a hoodie and also a pillow. Do you toss and turn? (*British accent* You bloody tosser!) Not anymore. If you toss and turn in this thing you’ll be taking the pillow with you.

Another bonus is that every time you lay down, you will look like Eminem from 8-Mile. Or some crazy assassin from a video game who needs sleep badly. Perfect for narcoleptics who could fall asleep at any moment. When you feel those Zzz’s coming, just fall back against the nearest wall and your head is cushioned for sweet dreams.

Incredible Hulk Shorts

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Incredible Hulk Shorts
Hey, look. Incredible Hulk shorts. Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. But that’s okay. I only really get angry when I see bad photoshops of the Hulk. Yeah, I’m pretty pissed right now.

*Eyes turn green. Doubled over in pain. Looks skyward as my insides burn. Muscles bulging.*

HULK SMASH! HULK TRY TO ORDER SHORTS ONLINE. ONLINE NO WORK WITH FIST IN IT! NOW HULK SAD! BECAUSE HULK’S JUNK SWINGING EVERYWHERE! HULK INDECENT!

Shark Attack Spiked Wedges

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Shark Attack Spiked Wedges
*Sits down to dinner. Eyes the hot chick across from me. Immediately starts playing footsies and moving my eyebrows.* CHOMP! HOLY HELL! *Screams and puts my bloody stump on the table. Blood shooting everywhere.*

The hot chick smiles and puts both feet on the table, all decked out in their Shark Attack Spiked Wedges, looking proud of herself. She tells me I shouldn’t swim in shark infested waters, but I don’t hear her. I’m passed out from shock and loss of blood.
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Chip On Your Shoulder Halloween Costume

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Chip On Your Shoulder Halloween Costume
I heard the same thing all the time when I was a kid. “You have a chip on your shoulder kid!” Yeah so? *Turns head and takes a giant bite out of it.* Now I have half a chip on my shoulder. And a bunch of crumbs.

This Chip On Your Shoulder Halloween Costume put a giant chip on your shoulder. Ruffled, because they’re the best. Possibly Lays. If I could lick it I would know for sure.

I would wear this thing to a Halloween party, sigh all night, then go to leave and bump into a girl with some dip on her shoulder. It would be magic. *Dreaming all dreamy-eyed with my chin in my hands.* I hope it’s poison ivy.
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