Eh, What’s up doc? I knew I shoulda made that left at Albuquerque. Ain’t I a stinker? No, really I am a stinker. It’s July and like 100 effing degrees as I blog in a pair of ratty old socks and more-than-off-white underwear. And seeing this Rabbit Hoodie makes it feel even hotter.
On a somewhat, but not really related note, I taught I taw a puddy tat! Ib-a ib-a That’s all folks!
P.S. What a maroon!
Is that a dragon on your shoulder or are you just happy to see me? Maybe a little of both, since I’m always happy to see someone with a plate full of french fries. *Grabs a bunch. Feeds some to my Dragon Shoulder Companion and stuffs the rest in my mouth. Sits down across from my dragon-less friend.*
Yes you can take my order. I’ll have enough raw meat for two. *Waits. Meat arrives* Do your thing Drago! *Dragon shrieks and breaths fire, cooking our meat and burning my dragon-less friend to a crisp. Everyone runs for the door.*
So how have you been? You’re looking a bit ashen. Why so quiet? *Taps him on the shoulder. Burnt jaw falls to the table.* Time to get out of here Drago. Bad Drago. Our dead friend is not food. C’mon we gotta stay one step ahead of the law. And the fire department.
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“The Plague Doctor will see you now.”
“Oh thank God. Hey Doc I got this- WTF! What kind of foul trick is this? Where did you get your doctorate? Perdue? Get it? Cuz your a bird faced weirdo? You gonna give me a flu shot? Let me guess. Is it the bird flu? Or the bird flew? Damn I crack myself up. You look like a flapper. Wing flapper that is! Well, you probably already gave me the plague so I’m outta here to go spread it.”
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Sweet! An Apple watch that I can actually afford! Looks close enough to fool people from like 2 miles away too. I’ll probably still have to upgrade this one every friggin’ year!
The down side is that it breaks super easy, which is okay with me because I can’t even figure how to tell the damn time on it. Maybe one of those genius dudes can explain it to me. You know it’s awesome cuz of how thin it is.
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So this is a Mutant Mask From The Year 19807. The future is messed up ya’ll. When years become like zip codes, you know you are in the future. How else can you tell? Because your head looks like this mask. All mutated and freaky. Here is what the seller has to say:
This is A Mutant Mask from The Year 19807 that the Pixelated People in Space Used to fight The Neon Spiders of Future Space 19807!
Fair enough.
You can wear this but you will be silly and awkward. You can’t see out of it well and it’s floppy and wont fit that well. This is designed to make The Future Pixelated People feel Silly and use their Silly Powers to Fight Those Silly Neon Spiders!
Mission accomplished. I just photoshopped this thing on my head to see how it would look. Then I got attacked by a spider. I squished it. I felt my silly powers ignite, so I tapped danced over it’s dead body and did the moonwalk, spreading it’s guts all over. Shizz works!
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