Category: Creep Wear

Dirty And Clean Socks: Know Which Is Which

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dirty clean socks
Thank God for these Dirty And Clean Socks. It’s hard to know which socks are clean when you keep them all in 5 foot tall pile in the corner of the room. What can I say, my nesting instinct is strong and it’s been a cold winter. My mom came in and tried to wash them once and I hissed and shrieked until she went away, then dove in and watched from inside. That mound of smelly cotton is my precious.

I’ll still throw them in the corner until I fulfill my dream of an entire room full of cotton socks with my naked body in the center, but at least I will know what’s dirty and what’s clean. Until they are all inevitably dirty.

Pac-Man Party Bra And Tutu

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Pac-Man Party Bra
It’s always a party with the Pac-Man Party Bra And Tutu. A pizza bra will get the party started, but a bra featuring the yellow dot muncher himself? That keeps the party going all night long. Assuming that your nipples are power pellets anyway. If you feel that your nipples have what it takes to power this little yellow freak and let him chase ghosts around your boobs all night, order yours today.

Pac-Man fever makes you hot(Also drives you crazy). So if you are afflicted with this retro 80s ailment, this is the perfect outfit. It’s sure to diffuse the heat, while looking awesome. Don’t wear a Space Invaders bra or an Asteroid bra, unless you want guys hitting on you all night. By “hitting on”, I mean that I’ll be in the corner making pew pew pew noises, pointing my finger gun at your chest, trying to get the high score.
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Checkers Board Game Dress

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checkers dress costume
This Checkers Dress is pretty awesome. I’m a wiz at checkers. Jump, jump, jump, jump, king me baby! How about we play Connect Four instead? Do you have that dress? No? The problem with a Connect Four dress is that all of the pieces usually fall out of the bottom while you’re out doing your stuff.

The problem with this dress? I see no problems. If I win you take the dress off. If you win, I take my dress off. Cool?

Pro tip: If you have this dress, don’t get rid of it, otherwise you’ll have a checkered past.

I won! Where? There, diagonally! Very sneaky sis!

Jabba The Hutt Necklace

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star wars jabba the hut necklace
This Jabba the Hutt Necklace is for all of you ladies who don’t have a fat slug weighing them down in real-life. You know, some slob playing the PS4 all day or playing with action figures while you go out and earn a living. Obviously my wife doesn’t need this. She has her own.

*Pops a toad in my mouth and yanks her closer on her chain for a kiss. Gets strangled.* I guess playing with my Rancor is out of the question?

Mirrorman Suits

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mirrorman suit
Behold the mighty Mirrorman! His super power? Reflecting every got-damnned thing with his suit. He is the ultimate “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you throw bounces off me and sticks to you!” superhero. Light. Check. Images. Check. Hammer. Oh man, sorry about that dude. How many tiny mirrors you got on that suit? About 1000? What’s a 1000 times 7? Oh poopy! That is A LOT of bad luck!

That suit is like a black hole of bad luck just waiting to happen. Of course it was me. Why in the HELL would you walk around with that thing? That is irresponsible on like a cosmic level! You can’t just give out that kind of atomic bomb luck!

Oh hell! Just stepped on a nail. Whew! That was close. Shoe stopped it. Anyway- *Gets hit by a football, which bounces onto a nearby car going 80. Car swerves. Hits me into Mirrorman, who cuts me like a million times and gives even more bad luck. Plus, I gotta pay for that suit now!* WTF?

Check out another suit below. Screw this guy!
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