Season your meals with flavor that is out of this world with this Alien Salt Pepper Shaker Set. *Opens my eyes as I wake up in bed* Hmmmm. So you came for my salt and pepper did ya? Traveled light years just for that? Well, I could have told you you weren’t going to find that in my anus. Sheesh! Hey, where ya going? I didn’t say I wasn’t game for some probing still. *Lays on my stomach and shakes my heiney* Get back here! Oh I see how it is. You got what you want and now you’re done with me. Whatevs! Have fun with the high blood pressure from all that salt.
Category: Geeky Cool Stuff
Universal Monsters Pen Holder
This adorable Universal Monsters Pen Holder is going to look great on my desk. It has cute versions of Frankenstein, Wolfman, the Bride and Count Dracula, who says, “I vant to hold your pens!” Although his accent makes it sound like he said penis, so bonus laughs for that. You can find him doing stand up on the Transylvania circuit. Sure, you could use it for your peen, I guess, but not recommended. You should never stick it in a box full of monsters. Sticks to pens and pencils.
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Victorian Raven Stationery
This is some sweet Victorian Raven Stationery. I already know what I’m gonna write on it:
Dear ravens, what the heck.
Do you think you can stop pooping on my deck.
My roses have white
My violets are pooh.
Everything is covered in raven goo.
I see what you eat,
cuz it’s all over my street.
Please stop your your poop,
It is a nasty thick goop.
I’m cleaning forevermore,
So let’s make it never more!
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Giant Sugar Skull Beach Blanket
Wait- There’s a Giant Sugar Skull Beach Blanket? Oh, I see it now. Take your skull to the beach and lay out in the sun in style. This will get the party started. Whether you’re laying on the beach in Mexico or chilling in the backyard, this Dias de Los Muertos beach blanket will help you celebrate the day. Sun, fun and skulls, that’s what makes a nice relaxing day. It measures 5 feet across. Never leave the house without your skull that’s what I always say.
Gothic Bats Wrapping Paper
Sweet gift! Awesome Gothic Bats Wrapping Paper! What’s inside? Is it bats? Guano? Both? A baseball BAT? BAT-teries? A BATman toy? A plush womBAT? A BATTY Crocker cookbook? I’m so excited. I love a good gift. I’m gonna tear it open okay? Cool. Here goes. *Rippppp* Oh sweet. It’s BAT WRAPPING PAPER, which was wrapped in Bat wrapping paper. Now I’m gonna go wrap up everything I own so it looks cool. Then I’m gonna double upon my meds cuz sometimes that’s fun too. K bye.