Category: Just Plain Weird

The Cubinati: A New World Order Puzzle

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The Cubinati A New World Order Puzzle
The Cubinati! Made by the Illuminati. Who choose to stay away from the paparazzi! They’d rather stay at home and play Yahtzee! That’s just what I heard. Plus it rhymes. Solve this puzzle pyramid and I think you get a free membership in the group.

Perks include being a part of the New World Order and free pizza every Wednesady night! Score! The all-seeing eye is watching so solve it fast or else be dealt with by the elusive secret society. This puzzle will give you something to do while your population is being culled. Look at how happy and totally not brainwashed that girl in the ad looks. Why so serious?
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Post Human Vampire Skulls

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Post Human Vampire Skulls
These Post Human Vampire Skulls are gonna give me nightmares. Apparently these things were genetically enhanced to give them improvements over the average human. It’s like The Terminator and Dracula had a baby and that baby ate the world, draining one corpse at a time, then plugging it’s cyborg self into some receptacle and charging up. Still, dudes got a great profile. I’d kill to look that awesome in pictures. That’s like a quality yearbook picture from Killer Vampire Robot High. Picture like that will land you a sweet wife and an awesome job.

Unlike me. My picture landed me an angry wife and weird job blogging about strange and freaky stuff. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Anyhow I don’t think I could type without a woman screaming in the background anymore and the occasional object sailing past my head. NO, I WILL NEVER STOP USING THE FANCY DINNERWARE TO CUT MY SNICKERS BARS WITH A FORK AND KNIFE! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!
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Friday The 13th Jason Goblet

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Friday The 13th Jason Goblet
Raise a glass… I mean goblet to your favorite hockey mask wearing slasher. This Friday The 13th Jason Goblet features Jason’s mask so you can drink up with him, catch up, shoot the shizz and get good and drunk. I’m gonna see if they have a Freddy Krueger one and then one of you guys can come over and we can smash them together in toasts and make them fight all night long, until we’re slipping and sliding on all of that liquor.

Sounds like a good time to me. Just don’t rob me when I pass out. K? Don’t worry about all that booze on the floor. This happens every weekend. I just mop it up and fill up booze bottles again. No, no. I didn’t do that when you came over. It’s all cool. Nah. I wouldn’t do that.

Skull and Bones Sculptural Candlesticks

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Skull and Bones Sculptural Candlesticks
These candlesticks are nothing but skull and bones. Somebody feed it! Oh wait, that’s skin and bones. No skin here. I know because I was all like, “Give me five. Slip me some skin!” and then I noticed it had no skin. Then I noticed I was talking to an inanimate object. Then I took my meds and had sleepy-nappy time. The skulls on these Skull and Bones Sculptural Candlesticks look downright angry. Imma make ’em face each other in a badass candlelight grumpy stare-off.

My Critter Catcher

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critter catcher
ACK! Get it out! Take it outside! No, I can’t do it, I’m too busy standing on the couch screaming! Does that sound like you? Hey, me too. I don’t judge. That’s why I’m getting My Critter Catcher. So I can catch these critters and feel brave. It works by trapping their many legs. I’ll probably feel much calmer catching spiders with this thing and only scream a warrior’s scream. My warrior’s scream just happens to sound like a little girl.

Check out a video below to see spiders get what’s coming to them!
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