Coffin Clocks! It’s half past a dirt nap and quarter to the afterlife. These cool clocks remind you that we are all just passing the time until we are dead, dead, dead. Did I depress you? Sorry. This is why I’m alone at parties. Well, that and the fact that I am throwing those parties for myself and only inviting myself, because I want all of the birthday cake. It’s all about myself, cuz I’m selfish. No, not shellfish. Selfish. No, not elf-ish. Selfish. No, I don’t sell fish. Oh forget it. This is why I party alone!

Tick-tock. Tick-tock. I fell inside my coffin clock. I hit my head and now I’m dead. Also broke my neck. Oh well, just set the time and I’ll be hanging here for all eternity. That’s just my luck. Of corpse it is. I guess I’ll be haunting some people with similar tastes in clocks.

Actually these aren’t life sized. They are about 17 inches tall. Which is awesome, because I’m clumsy and I did not want to fall and trip and get trapped in that thing for the rest of my afterlife. No way jose! I don’t wanna clock in and never clock out of this clock.