I think we’ve all seen these guys. You’re minding your own business eating like your 10th taco when suddenly you start to cramp and have to make a run for the border. You strain, you curse, you do that fast pregnancy breathing thing and boom, next thing you know you drop a Poop Monster. Mine usually looks sad and waves his stumpy poop arms at me before I flush and whisk him away to the land of fecal enchantment.
Category: Just Plain Weird
Finders Creepers Horror Figurines
Jeepers creepers, check out Finders Creepers. They have cool one of a kind horror figurines that are like your grandma’s figurines, but not so nice after they have had a makeover. You can choose from Lizzie Borden, aliens and other assorted creepers.
Did Lizzie Borden do it? Duh! She had an axe to grind.
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Mr. Teddy Man Body Pillow
You’re so snuggly Mr. Teddy Man. Will you make all of my dreams come true and love me forever? You’re so sweet. I wish I could lay here forever in your manly embrace. But I have to go to work and pine for you for the next 8 hours, while I wonder why I don’t have a real man. Oh no! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Please don’t leave me! I can do better. I can change. I didn’t mean it! Please don’t- Oh, you aren’t leaving. I’m sorry. You really are the best. I don’t deserve you.
Mummified Talon Fairy
Well damn. That is one ugly little flying freak. I thought fairies were supposed to be beautiful twinkling creatures, trailing pixie dust from their wings and farting sunshine. These guy’s trailing brown crusty dust from his wings and farting real farts that clear the whole fairy tree house out.
Look at this Mummified Talon Fairy holding it’s hands to it’s breasts like, “Don’t hate me because I’m ugly.” Too late. Don’t ugly me and I won’t hate ya.
Wait! That says “Specimen 2948”. How many of these things are there? And do we have enough insecticide to protect ourselves? Nah. Just kidding. I would never do that. But I would clean my sliding glass door to perfection so they fly into it. Then I’d start numbering my own specimens and selling them.
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Crazy Plush Specimens In Flasks
If you’ve ever wanted to collect some specimens inside of chemistry flasks, this is your lucky day. Etsy seller carelesspress has several of these Crazy Plush Specimens In Flasks. I have no idea what kinds of specimens these are, but they are plush and probably very highly contagious diseases. Like a prozzy in a fur coat.
Collect them all and be THAT weird scientist guy. You know, the one who isn’t really a scientist, but has plush specimens in jars. Fine, I admit it. It’s me. Except all of my specimens are in jars in my fridge. And they’re plush because they’re mold.
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