Category: Just Plain Weird

Hellraiser Lamp

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Hellraiser Lamp
I am so ready to raise hell! That’s why I can’t wait for my awesome Hellraiser Lamp to arrive. It’s here! Plug that bad boy in. Here goes. All kinds of hell is about to be raised. Lock up your daughters, lock up your wives, lock up the back door and run for your life! Here goes! *Switches lamp on.* That’s what I’m talkin’ bout! Wooooooo! Raising all kinds of hell up in dis biatch! *Turns lamp off*

That was honestly the most excitement I’ve had in years. I’m off to have a smoke and enjoy the after-glow. Phew! Gotta be honest, it’s gonna be hard to get back to my boring old life after that.

Concrete Feet Planter

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foot planter
The joy of victory. The agony of de feet! This Concrete Feet Planter is supposed to be a humorous and fun planter for your garden. Maybe it is. It beats the way I do it. By throwing old sneakers into the backyard and then watching flowers grow in them. And die from the smell in the same day. When I say flowers, I mean fungus. Fungi? Why yes I am. I’m a fun guy. A fun guy with a backyard full of old mushroom filled sneakers.

This made me think of this! I know right? *Shudders*

This Honey Bear Is A Jar Head

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Pickled Circus
This Honey Bear found the honey pot. Probably because it was a honey pot that was designed to lure him in. Know what I mean? *Psst* (A honey pot means a woman’s naughty parts) This has happened to me a few times too, which is why I’m looking through a large pickle jar as I type this. What? I was hungry. I’ll work my way out eventually.

The only problem is it’s taken like a half hour just to write this cuz it gets foggy in here. That’s why I installed some makeshift windshield wipers on the inside using some wire hangers and a swiffer. The swiffer really helped with my breath smell too.

I have to go to the ER now, cuz last time I tried breaking the glass I just ended up with the world’s sharpest necklace. Laterz.

Become A Needle Felted Zombie

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Become A Needle Felted Zombie
Hey guys, let’s all become Needle Felted Zombies. You get the yarn, I’ll poke you with needles. Etsy seller DarlinGirlCreations will create a zombie in your likeness. Not mine. That one on the right looks about right for me, except I’m usually passed out on a chair with Cheeto drool dripping from my mouth. Otherwise it’s uncanny. Like an X-Man. I’m Drool-verine. *Snnnkkkk! Extends my metal claws and starts needle felting zombies like Edward Scissorhands after happy hour.*

Looks at my masterpieces. Ohhhhhhh. Needle felted right? For some reason I heard “Beetle Felted Zombies”. Now what am I gonna do with 4 felted beetle zombies? Hmmmm. I know. Felt undead Beatles tribute band!

Crocheted Mermaid Cat

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Crocheted Mermaid Cat
Well you don’t see that everyday. A Mermaid Cat. Or should I say Meow-maid? The kitten of the sea! This Meow-maid is the cat’s whiskers. Too bad Meow-maids won’t help you clean up your house while you’re at work all day. That would be a Meow-Maid worth hiring. Whatevs. I’m down with the Catness. I’ll take two and hang them in an aquarium with some wire, so it looks like they’re swimming.