You’re so snuggly Mr. Teddy Man. Will you make all of my dreams come true and love me forever? You’re so sweet. I wish I could lay here forever in your manly embrace. But I have to go to work and pine for you for the next 8 hours, while I wonder why I don’t have a real man. Oh no! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Please don’t leave me! I can do better. I can change. I didn’t mean it! Please don’t- Oh, you aren’t leaving. I’m sorry. You really are the best. I don’t deserve you.
Tag: body pillow
Keep Cozy With Cthulhu: Tentacle Body Pillows
Sleep in the loving gentle embrace of Cthulhu with these tentacle body pillows from Etsy seller Teacupity. There are several variations available. Different colors, different suckers… Just be careful that they don’t pull you down into some dark alternate plain of existence.
Interesting fact: Every woman I’ve ever shared a bed with calls me Cthulhu, cuz I’m all grabby like an ancient terror with eight arms. And by every woman, I mean one woman. And when I say shared a bed, I mean for like 2 seconds at a mattress store. The good news is that they now have my picture on the wall. The bad news is, I’m still sleeping on two cat beds pushed together.
Click through for more images.
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WTF: Star Trek Kirk and Spock Body Pillow Cases
WTF in the name of Starfleet and all that is holy, is going on here? I did a spit-take when I first saw these Star Trek body pillows featuring Kirk and Spock seductively half undressed, so that some nerd can do a Vulcan groin meld all over them. Body pillows are for comfort, not for humpin’ and bumpin’ the heroes of Star Fleet.
Basically, for $50 you can come home to Kirk and Spock waiting for you in your bed. Ready for…whatever it is you three want to do. You get both Kirk and Spock so you are basically bones in this threesome. Just imagine, during the hot and heavy action, you can say stuff like “Damnit Jim, I’m a Doctor, not Ron Jeremy.”
I think Spock with his pants half undone is the more disturbing of the pair. This set just makes me feel all weird.
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Vegetable Snuggling: Have You Hugged A Carrot Pillow Today?
Seems wrong, but some people really get off on their veggies, to the point of taking them into their bed and- *Hands on face Home Alone style* -sleeping with them. Relax Vegans, Vegetarians and Vulva-sharians, I’m just talkin’ bout snuggling the carrot, not waxing it. This giant carrot body pillow is crazy.
Now you can get all up in that carrots grill and just snuggle the heck out of it, maybe even grind it a little. I ain’t judging. It’s all about comfort and whatever happens between you and the carrot is your business. It’s just $85 from Etsy. It’s 4 feet long, which suddenly makes me feel inadequate. Bigger than my carrot and bound to get more snuggles. What? I’m talkin’ bout my own carrot pillow.
More shots of the crazy carrot below as the seller takes it about town and points it at people and stuff.
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