Category: Just Plain Weird

Make Your Own Man Interchangeable Cubes

Artemis Winterford6 Comments

make your own man cubes
You ladies can’t all score studs like me. It’s not that there’s not enough of me to go around. There’s plenty in my man-boob area alone thanks to my sedentary blogging lifestyle and my apparent life goal of fitting into a man-bra H cup. It’s just that you’ll need some firemen to break the wall down and a crane operator to lift me out of my home and into that IHOP where I’m taking you on that date and by the time I call the firemen, I’m already way out of breath. You see what I do for you in order to bring you the latest in weird stuff you can buy? *Getting teary eyed* I do it because I love you.

Anyway you can’t have me, so make your own man with these Make Your Own Man Interchangeable Cubes. There’s a surfer dude, a rock star, a money maker or a family man. No blogger? Pffft! Bloggers are the manliest! *Shrieks and jumps out of my chair* A spider!

*Lawyer casually walks over and picks up spider* So you see your honor… Ladies and gentlemen of the jury… He was never fat at all. It was all a lie, perpetuating a blogger stereotype. He doesn’t even have a neck beard!

Stupid lawyer tricks. I almost got away with it.
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Assortment Of Collars, Bow Ties And Neckties For Your Dog Or Cat

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neck tie collars for pets
Let’s say your dog has an important business meeting. You can’t just send him to the office in his flea collar and expect him to land that important account. You have to dress him for success and give him a neck tie. That’s where this set of Dog/Cat Neck ties come in handy.

Your dog will look confident, so he will be confident. Would you rather have your dog Known as Don Draper or Don Drooper? Worse yet, Don Dripper. The boss will be so impressed he might even throw him a bone or let him hump the leg of the office couch. It’s a dog eat dog world.
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Creature Teeth License Plate Frame

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creature teeth license plate frameScare the hell out of anyone who dares to tailgate you on the open road with this Creature Teeth License Plate Frame. I suggest you use it with plates like 1EATUN0W. Or just, you know, drive around without a license plate. You can say that this frame ate it. I’m pretty sure license plates are strictly optional like seat belts and windshields. I wouldn’t know since I tool around on my banana seat bicycle all day. I really should clean the bananas off the seat. It attracts flies.

Go ahead and laugh, but I don’t get stuck in traffic jams, I don’t buy gas and my bicycle bell sounds friggin’ awesome! *Ding Ding, Ding Ding* “Go back in your homes kids, it only sounds like the ice cream man”.

“More like the Kool-Aid man! Fatty!” *Kid ducks back inside*

“Why you little-!”

*Ditches bike in the grass and runs through the kid’s brick wall* Oh yeah!

Gruesome Zombie Cookie Jar With Bloody Brain Lid

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zombie cookie jarOne day, after a plague turns half of us into zombies, we can slice a zombie’s head off and store our cookies inside(Creating those zombie blood Oreos I’ve always wanted), but until that day arrives, we have this Zombie Cookie Jar With Bloody Brain Lid.

Man, this guy really took a beating. It looks like somebody blew his scalp clean off. According to the reviews, he holds a full bag of cookies, just like my stomach. He might be just ugly enough to keep others away from my cookie stash.

Porcelain Doll Head Tea Cups

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doll head tea cup
Make any tea party into an awkward and weird affair with these Porcelain Doll Head Tea Cups from Etsy seller ENDEceramics. *Sips tea with my pinky in the air* I like your tea cups. I especially like how your cup is looking at me and how my cup is looking at you as we sip. Just so I’m clear, am I a prisoner? Have I been poisoned? Just wondering because this scene is creepy as f***. *Feeling woozy* Yeah, I think I’ll pass out now. Don’t do anything too weird to me k? Don’t be like my dentist and tell me it’s normal to wake up with my pants down and wearing a hand puppet.

The seller has these doll head tea cups in white too if using a child shaped head as a drinking vessel appeals to you. Just don’t do anything too weird with them.
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