Tag: instrument

Custom Painted Skeleton Guitar

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painted skeleton guitar
This Custom Painted Skeleton Guitar is pretty cool. Bands and singers that use this? Well, there’s PElvis Presley of course. Bone Thugs N Harmony. Spinal Tap. Just to name a few. Pretty awesome.

But what really freaks me out is the second image below. It’s like a friggin’ I Spy game. Everytime I thought I spotted everything, I found something else. Would it kill ya to clean up when we come over? I spy with my little eye:

A ghost child or apparition on the left.
A coffin bookcase.
A bust with one arm.
A tan dog’s feet.
A black dog asleep. (Are they both just one big dog?)
A used tissue.
Oh and a skeleton guitar.

Play along in the comments. Did I miss anything?
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Nightmare Before Christmas Violins

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Nightmare Before Christmas Violins
Etsy seller ChildatHeartPainter makes all kinds of cool Tim Burton inspired violins and guitars and stuff. They’re pretty cool. Practice makes perfect. You ask me, practice is just the nightmare before concert.

Reminds me of that one cello concert I was dragged to once. The guy gets up on stage and he’s all like, “Ladies and gentlemen…Yo Yo Ma!” And I swear he was looking at me when he said it.

Naturally, I was all like, “The f**k? What’d you say about my ma?” Then I rushed the stage and gave him a refreshing drink. Of Hawaiian punch! See, my fists had been on vacation until now.

Just as the cops were rushing onto the stage, the other guy explained that, “No. I am Yo Yo Ma!”

“Shut up. My mom is not a yo-yo! You haven’t all had a spin! Stop saying that!” That was when the cops tasered me. I hate classical music.
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Fart Piano

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fart piano
You may not give a toot, but the Fart Piano is a piano that makes fart noises. Naturally, I’m interested, my own bunghole being off key.

It’s nine o’clock on a taco day
The regular crowd cropdusts in
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Ripping one with a big grin
He says, “Son, can you squeeze me a memory
I’ve really just run out of farts
But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete
It smells like 3 rancid pop-tarts.”

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum
Sing us a song, you’re the fart piano man
Sing us a song you louse
Well, we’re all in the mood for a melody
And your farts peel the paint from the house…

Check out a video below where a My Little Pony farts the classics. Seriously.
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E.T. Extraterrestrial Communication Knowledge Transfer Device

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etsy et communication device
Alien encounters can be awkward and not just because they stick stuff in ya without buying you dinner first. Because you can’t understand a damn word they’re saying. This E.T. Extraterrestrial Communication Knowledge Transfer Device will help. So the next time they come to abduct you in the night, you’ll be able to understand their language.

That’s when you find out that they think humans are just a game of operation. The Goofy Game for Goofy Doctors. I know when I bought one of these, I heard “Alien Gary” bitching to “Alien Mike” about how his wife doesn’t understand him because his quasar zoomboffulator was overpriced and out of warranty and it makes a real miff-zi-stache of his home life. “Alien Mike” owns a Zeff farm full of grazing Zergnars and recently got caught “nerfing the herd”, which is why he got stuck on this sh***y work detail.

I was all like, “Guys, I know I’m gonna forget about all of this later, but please, concentrate on the task at hand! Damn that hurts. Pay attention. Am I impregnated yet or what? Gary, you gotta man up and face the wife! Mike… Mike, you’re just sick. Seriously. Get away from me. Gary, let’s hurry this up. I have an early morning tomorrow.

So anyway, this thing really works. Check out the video below.
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Baby Head Theremin

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Baby Head Theremin
This Baby Head Theremin is the scariest musical instrument ever. It’s eyes glow red. And since you play a theremin by moving your hands in the air, you will basically look like you are rubbing a creepy baby head for a long time and making a wish. I wish I had a real musical instrument. I wish you would stop looking at me baby! You’re ruining my performance. I wish you were less creepy. I wish I wasn’t all out of wishes!

Just imagine the creepy music of a theremin combined with this monstrosity. It has some kind of fancy sensor on the top of it’s head where the soft spot is on a baby too, making all the weirder.
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