Tag: accessory

Gold And Silver Vampire Rings

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Gold And Silver Vampire Rings
This jewelry has bite. How annoying would I be with these Gold And Silver Vampire Rings? Putting my hands against people’s necks and telling them, “I want to suck your blood!” before getting punched in the Nosferatu. It would be pretty cool to wear these vampire choppers.

I’ll give one to my special vampire girl and she’ll say, “Fangs a lot! You really stoke the fires of my heart.”

Is your heart named Bram? Cuz I’m a real Bram Stoker and you have all the right vampire lestats!
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Jaws Bathing Suit

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Jaws Bathing Suit
I wonder why she’s still single. She has a great body. A beautiful face. I’m sure her personality is great. Maybe it’s the fact that SHE HAS A SHARK coming out of her nether regions thanks to this Jaws Bathing Suit. Bigger boat? I’m not going near that with an aircraft carrier. Yeah, I would pass too.

Nether regions. Heh. Fun word. Does that mean that all of those people in the netherlands are all pu**ies? I’m thinking maybe. I’d have to consult some book learning dude to know for sure. JK Netherlands. You know I love ya. I spent a week there one night in a one horse town where even the horse left.

The BatPack

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The Bat Pack
Nanananananana Bat Packkkkk! Every day is free bat-hug day with this batpack. It’s a cross between a stuffed animal, a backpack and a shawl. It has a large pocket and in the lining is a secret pocket. It puts a bat all up in your belfry.

This shizz bat-poop crazy! You’ll always be winging it with this accessory.
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Ghost Choker

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Ghost Choker
When there’s something strange, around your neck, who ya gonna call? GHOST CHOKER! I ain’t fraid of no ghost! I’m totally lying. I WASN’T afraid, but now I’m scared of a chorus line of ghosts crushing my windpipe as they dance and kick their tails up.

Nah, I’m kidding. This choker is spook-tacular. Even supernatural. Ectoplastic! I’m not just saying that because my neck is on the line.

Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse

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Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse
Hey ladies! Carry all of your lady stuff in this Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse. *Removing my arms from my shirt sleeves and putting them into my shirt. Flapping away like crazy and making bat noises as I try to escape.* Just call me Bat-Dini! Who? No not Houdini. And not Who-dini either. That’s an owl thing I do when I’m bored in bed.

Anyway, this awesome bat purse is awesome. Flappin’ awesome. Like wing flappin’ and teeth sinking into your neck awesome. Make sure you carry it upside down during the day, cuz it needs sleep.
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