This Skull Toothpick Holder has a name. That name is Moe Hawk. He has a spiky attitude and a zest for life. Probably because he has starred in like all of the Mad Max movies. Yeah, now you know him, right? Yeah, that guy. He was that guy on the cycle, that guy who took the arrow to the face, the guy who went flying through the air. He’s pretty prolific.
The more you pick your teeth, the balder this guy gets. Seems like a fair trade to me.
Sweeeet! Check out this Rattlesnake iPhone 6 Case. You can set your ringtone to a snake hiss and look all awesome when you pull your phone out with a Rattlesnake head attached. Even if it will bite you with every call.
Too bad I can’t use it. I just upgraded to an iPhone 3. Of course I also recently upgraded to a computer smaller than a refrigerator. It is SO nice to be able to see pictures on the internet. I had no idea that Facebook really was full of faces. That thing has faces everywhere. I’m in the process of moving over from Myspace. Ah hell. BRB The ice delivery guy is here. Now I can buy groceries! WOOT!
Eh, What’s up doc? I knew I shoulda made that left at Albuquerque. Ain’t I a stinker? No, really I am a stinker. It’s July and like 100 effing degrees as I blog in a pair of ratty old socks and more-than-off-white underwear. And seeing this Rabbit Hoodie makes it feel even hotter.
On a somewhat, but not really related note, I taught I taw a puddy tat! Ib-a ib-a That’s all folks!
P.S. What a maroon!
I’m gonna give this Eye Necklace to my wife so she can say what she always says. “Hey, my eyes are up here. Wait-!”
“That’s right, your eyes are in fact just where I was looking! Ha! Now I can look at boobs and your eyes at the same time. I win! I have found a way around that age old response!”
“Really? Have you found a way to pull your balls back out of your stomach after I kick them?”
“Uh. Not yet. Let me get on that and get back to you.”
“And stop looking at my eyes!”
Cue montage of me beating up meat in a freezer. Training hardcore rocky style while I wear my sweet Dragon eye patch. Jumping rope. Doing sit ups as my trainer teases me with a piece of bacon just out of reach. I’m feeling good! Feeling pumped! I can do this!
It’s the…eye of the dragon
It’s the thrill of the fight….
Mick, my trainer is all like, “Are you a dragon or a door mouse? Get out there and do it. Show ’em what a dragon can do. You got heart kid. Clobber ’em and breath fire. Don’t stop until the fire department comes to pick up his ashes. Eye of the dragon kid! Now go!” *Pushes me into the ring.*
Ding. Ding.
In this corner, me, hitting my gloves together and jumping up and down, ready for action. In the opposite corner… Yeah, it’s that spider that I saw, looking creepy as f**k.
*Runs away screaming.* Here, you have the eye of the dragon Mick. I don’t want it anymore. I’m just gonna get a fly swatter and hope for the best. Can you kill it? Please?????