Gothic Gargoyle Cufflinks

Gothic Gargoyle Cufflinks
These Gothic Gargoyle Cufflinks are gonna look great at that big shindig you are planning on attending soon. Whatever a shindig is. Sounds painful in the legs. You know what else is painful? Wearing a stone Gargoyle on each cuff. That’s what the mob calls it when they attach concrete to your hands and drop you in the river. Cement shoes. Concrete Converse. Sometimes Gargoyle cufflinks.

“You know too much. Vinny, fit this guy for some Gargoyle Cufflinks and give him a little boat ride.”

“No! I swear I never stole your mama’s Marinara recipe! Don’t kill me. Don’t kill me. Just curious, why Gargoyle cufflinks? Why not just a bag of cement on each hand? I swear I’ll never cross the Transylvanian mob again. Please! You guys are friggin weirdos!”

Coffin Makeup Brush Holder

Coffin Makeup Brush Holder
Your current makeup look? It’s dead. Time to eulogize it and bury it in this Coffin Makeup Brush Holder. Then apply some more and let it rise like a Phoenix and cover your face anew. Your old look was Tammy Faye Baker? Your new look can be Tammy Faye Undertaker. Your makeup is only as good as your makeup holder ladies. Behind every pretty face is a coffin.

Oh damn, that sounded like something a serial killer would say. Forget I said it. The point is, this is a cool makeup case. Cool, cuz coffins are buried deep. Yeah, that sounded weird again. Okay, stop looking at me like I’m a freak now. I didn’t mean it like that. You try talking about a coffin makeup holder and see how you sound.
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Colorful Anatomy Coasters

Colorful Anatomy Coasters
I like to bring out these Colorful Anatomy Coasters when I have guests. It’s a visual illustration of which body part I will harm if they don’t use the coaster and stain my furniture. Here, have a nice skeleton hand coaster. What? You set your drink on my tabletop and left a mark? Oh well, the coaster was the warning. *Hits their hand hard*

Nah. I would never cause anyone bodily harm. Except for myself obviously, by eating a pound of Cheetos everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet

Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet
This Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet aka Necronomicuff is pretty sweet. It’s based on the works of H.P. LovesCuffs who also wrote The Cuffs of Cthulhu. It’s pretty cool. Definitely the in fashion statement of the year. It’s perfect to wear to this years Necronomi-con too. I just made that up, so if it ever exists, someone’s gonna owe me money. You read it here first.

I would buy two of these cuffs and wear one on each wrist, so I can deflect bullets with them like Wonder Woman. Pew pew pew! I’m magic! Ow! My wrists! *Falls to knees crying.*

Memento Mori Skull Watches

Memento Mori Skull Watches
These awesome Memento Mori Skull Watches are designed by Swiss watch designer Fiona Krüger. No relation to Freddy. I think. They might be distant cousins who may have had a falling out, but that’s beside the point and I’ve said too much. Krüger came up with the idea in 2011 while she was a student at the ECAL art school in Switzerland. Now Krüger has her own independent design company and an ongoing line of Fiona Krüger brand Skull watches. Pretty cool.

I wish I had a fancy line of watches like Krüger. Or even like that guy on the street with watches up and down both arms who wants to give me a deal every day. The inside of his coat is lined with necklaces too. I really admire that guy. Who needs a storefront?
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