I’m not afraid to brooch the subject. This Large Octopus Brooch is the bee’s knees, Cthulhu’s tentacles, Medusa’s locks, Frankenstein’s bolts. Too scared to wear it? Don’t be an octo-puss! This guy has eight arms to hold ya with baby. Plus he’s all ink splattered, like a pen exploded in his face. I hate when that happens. He was probably just writing in his diary and SPLAT, day ruined. Don’t let your day be ruined by missing your chance at a cool accessory.
Tag: accessory
Cthulhu Mask
This Cthulhu Mask is perfect for those weird Illuminati parties that the elite like to throw, cuz it compliments stuff like goat heads and boobies. I’m totally buying this and filming a remake of Eyes Wide Shut. Only I’m going to call it Tentacles Wide Shut. It will be about a young Cthulhu who gets mixed up in this strange Illuminati world and finds out that there is a whole other reality happening all around him and that he is in fact, really Tom Cruise, the ancient smiling evil that will end us all.
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Spider Planchette Pendant
Oh what a tangled web we weave when our spider-butts had Mexican the night before and it’s half liquid, half silly string! But that’s beside the point. This Spider Planchette Pendant will help you commune with the spirit world and when you actually a contact a ghost? They’re all like, “Holy hell! A spider! Get it off me! Get it off me!” And then your Ouija board explodes.
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Costume Bat Wings
Hey, get behind me and hold my hips for a sec while I put these Costume Bat Wings on. *Cue the music* “I’m flying, Jack! I’m flying!” Like poison ivy. Wait, she doesn’t fly.
Everybody is always like, “Grow a pair!” or “Why don’t you man up and grow a pair?” Man, I wish I could. If I could grow a pair, I would grow a pair of bat wings like these and then I would flap them together so fast and lift up and do ballerina moves so gracefully. All I’ve ever wanted was to do the bat-ballet.
Yo! That right there is why you need to grow a pair. Ya sissy!
*Startled out of my ballet as I twirl with my arms against my chest! Begins to sob. Lip quivers. Then I pull myself together.* Fair enough!
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Weird and Wild Skull Crystal Pendants
Etsy seller floridxfauna is crazy about skulls. They are also coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs and likely have Pac-Man fever, but that’s beside the point. Check out these Skull Crystal Pendants. They make me feel like an archaeologist, except I didn’t have to dig all day to find one, only to discover that the damn thing has magic occult powers that the Nazis want. I hate Nazis!
Fun fact: You know how kids get words wrong? Yeah, I was the kid who shook my dice cup and screamed, “Nazi!” For some reason that was the last game of Yahtzee ever played in my house.
