Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside

Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside
This Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside makes for a real relaxing bath. Unless I’m in the house with you. In which case, I’ll be busting in the bathroom yelling, “Bombs away!” as I toss a couple in your water, splashing it everywhere.

They’re bombs! What did you expect? Bath bombs! Meaning bombs for your bath! They don’t work unless somebody is tossing them like a grenade. By the way, these grenades have a brain inside, so you will be left bathing in brains. Were as I bathe with beauty. That’s why we’re such a good couple.

Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones

Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones
Now you can wear the dead around your neck with this Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones. RIP man. RIP. That means Rotting In Progress right? That’s what I always thought it meant. Seems legit. This necklace has a pretty creepy cemetery scene with some gravestones and a spooky old tree.

Did I ever tell you about my house that I bought for a dollar because it was in a graveyard? No? Turns out it’s called a mausoleum and I wasn’t supposed to be there. I thought that realtor looked like a bum! That’s okay. I totally flipped that property and sold it for $10 to another bum. WINNING!

Ouija Board Wooden Serving Tray with Planchette Coasters

Ouija Board Wooden Serving Tray with Planchette Coasters
This Ouija Board Wooden Serving Tray with Planchette Coasters is a great way to serve guests during a seance or just everyday.

Your dinner is ready sir.

Thank you Jeeves. You know what to do next.

*Jeeves sighs* Did you have any questions sir?

In fact I do my good man. One simple question. Will I enjoy this dinner?

*Jeeves moves the planchette around my hamburger and fries, until the spirits make it hover over YES* All good sir. You will enjoy.

Excellent Jeeves. That will be all. *Fits napkin inside my collar. Slices into my burger with a knife and fork as my pinky strays carefree. Tastes it. Swirling it around on my tongue. Spits it out!* Damn that lying witches tool! Come here Jeeves, this instant!

Hey, Why not? – Breast Milk Jewelry

Hey, Why not- Breast Milk Jewelry
So yeah, Breast Milk Jewelry is a thing now. Whaaaaa Whaaaaa, hey I’m teething over here, hows about you break out one of those tasty milk dispensers and feed me already! Says the baby. But mom can’t. You know why? Because she used all of her milk up to make jewelry. Sad, but true. You’ll just have to stop your whining and drink GMO milk like the rest of us.

All kidding aside… Breast jewelry ever. Even if it is udder-ly ridiculous.

Designer Skeleton Costumes

Designer Skeleton Costumes
Whoa. Nice bones ladies. Nice bones. I mean it. I would never fib…ula. What’s that? You find me humorous? I was worried I would come off too stern…um. Mind if I check out your carpal tunnel? *SLAP* Damn. Just talking about your bones. Anyway, these Designer Skeleton Costumes from BADINKA let people see right into your skin like you are a walking X-ray. And consider me the TSA, cuz I like what I’m seeing. I might even have to pat you down.

These bones have a healthy glow about them. Not sure where the butterflies came from in that one below though. Wait, I get it. I knew these girls were into me. She’s got butterflies in her stomach. Or bone-r-flies. Uh, that doesn’t sound right.
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