Because it is never too early to teach your kids about the horror that is alien abduction, you can do so with this LEGO UFO Abduction Set. The focus of this set is to protect the farmer from being abducted by the alien UFO. As your child is building it you can talk with them about things like missing time, butt probing stuff, tractor beams and regression therapy. It should be a productive little project that you can both share in.
Tag: alien abduction
Crazy Alien Abduction Prank
This is two videos of an alien abduction prank by some wannabe Steven Spielbergs. It’s not very well done. It doesn’t even happen like that in real life. Except for the guy being taken by the tractor beam. That happens all the time. But aliens don’t just scare the hell out of you and then laugh with you about it afterwards. Well, I mean, sometimes they do. Crazy bastards. Okay, I admit, I kinda miss those rectally obsessed freaks.
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UFO Alien Abduction Sign
Let your overnight guests know that aliens frequent your bedroom. This UFO Alien Abduction Sign will let them know that they could potentially be lying in bed minding their own business, when a beam of blue light lifts them out of bed.
They tried that shizz on me once. I was floating and rising up, then I heard their machinery straining and smelled smoke. Once their tractor beam broke, I fell back on my bed like a floppy fat fish and thanked God for my second helping of Cheetos and three bowls of ice cream. I win f***ers!
Alien Ties: Dress For Alien Abduction Success
Now we join an alien abduction already in progress…
“Beeble-brix zat-sylum kubri-saq.” Nudges his alien buddy and points at the Alien Tie the victim is wearing.
“Axl-herkl Haw-gab nee-srink!” *LOL* Which translates to, “He worships us. This one deserves extra lube!”
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Wooden Alien Abduction Journal
Need a place to journal your experiences being captured and experimented on by alien creatures? This Wooden Alien Abduction Journal should do the trick.
Dear Diary,
They came again last night. Their soft supple hands lifting me out of bed. I resisted, but not too much. The leader had strong biceps and steely black eyes that peered through my soul. I knew I couldn’t resist. I didn’t tell him I had been waiting for this night ever since the last one, but he knew. I could tell by the way he sized me up. His gentle arms cradled me as the blue beam lifted us off the ground, stirring the edges of my nightgown. I struggled a bit more as we entered the medical bay. Just enough to make him realize I would not be tamed easily. And then the moment came as I was strapped onto the bed. His grey skin glistened with excitement as he grabbed a medical probe. Those onyx eyes challenged me. Would I face it bravely or panic and fight? Which did he want? I challenged back with a determined gaze, bit my lip and nodded for him to do his worst or his best as he saw fit….
Only $40. from Etsy.