Speak & Math. I may never have mastered it, but I get by just fine. Aside from the occasional cashier taking advantage of me and the occasional $40 dollar pizza. Like they say, they aren’t trying to rip me off. It’s just inflation. Anywho, This sweet Speak & Math has been turned into a “Freakenspreak Dragon”. Only something this badass could finally teach me some math skills.
Etsy seller ARTSTRUMENTS has mutated this Speak & Math and turned it into a crazy dragon that plays freaky sounds and alien voices. Click through for a crazy impressive list of the features.
Read more “Speak & Math Becomes Crazy Freakenspeak Dragon: Talks In Alien Voices”
Step on them! Step on them like cockroaches! These wind-up mutant baby toys really creep me out. I haven’t seen anything this freaky since I went on that “vision quest” with that mysterious Shaman. And by vision quest, I mean downing like 20 Mountain Dews and eating like $20 worth of Pixie Sticks. By Shaman, I mean my friend Mark who lives in front of the 7-11 and picks up spent scratch-off tickets with his leashed rat named Hieronymouse.
Jar Jar Binks is the bane of the Star Wars prequels, but now he is back and ready for action! He came to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And he is all out of bubble gum!
Thomas Kinkade paints all kinds of idyllic scenes. Quaint little cottages in the snow, quiet villages by a mountainside… You know the kind. It’s the sort of thing that your grandmother pays too much for on QVC and hangs on the wall, telling you everyday that when she is gone, it will be all yours. Too bad you don’t want it. Then granny dies and you are stuck with it, so you sell it for fifty bucks at your yard sale. Then granny haunts you for all time and makes you insane. All because of Thomas Kinkade. Do you know how hard it is to write an article while granny is jabbering away about her thrift store finds on the other side and the fact that she doesn’t need dentures “over here”? STFU granny.