Joker Mouse

Joker Mouse
Why so serious? Because I didn’t like XM? I don’t know, maybe because there’s a friggin’ Joker Mouse threatening me with a knife? Any other questions? No I have never danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. I have a question. Where do you get Joker cards small enough for a mouse?

Wait there for a sec. I just wanna get my toy Batmobile and my Batman and Robin figures. Then run you over. *Vroom Vroom. CRUNCH* Now ask me why I’m so serious! ASK ME!
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Two Headed Calf

Two Headed Calf
The trouble with a two headed calf is that you never know what they are trying to say. They say every MOO twice.

MOO-MOO.

What? What is it girl? You complimenting me on my outfit? Yes it is a nice moo-moo. Just something I wear around the house.

It’s a cute calf, but I’m not sure I like it. I think she’s two-faced.
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Fantasy Creatures From Another Dimension

Creepy Little Creatures
I’m pretty sure these Fantasy Creatures from Sweetsign would bite my hand off if I tried to pet them. So I’ll probably never ever touch them. I’ll just throw bed crumbs at them, until I have a huge mound of moldy bread in front of the shelf that they are occupying. Then I still won’t feel safe. And I’ll have bugs. Which they will probably love. They’ll come off of the shelf, eat a few bread bugs, then go back to displaying themselves. Then they’ll demand more bugs. Which takes more moldy bread….

What I’m trying to say is, this is why my house is a pigsty. You think I like living like this? I got freaky little creatures to feed! I used this same line on my wife when we first started dating. Sucker! *Runs around the room like a Tasmanian Dirt Devil, stirring up a filth tornado and laughing maniacally.* I’ll never be clean. NEVER!
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Crazy Halloween Cat Doll

Crazy Halloween Cat Doll
Halloween cat doll.
Hear her roar.

Got her own pet name.
It’s Pussums Galore.

Got her own montage.
This feline is the shizz.

Steppin’ to her box.
Gonna take a whizz.

I have no idea what this is. It’s a “Halloween Cat Doll”. Shown in a nice montage. She appears to have a decorative staff in one hand and a pumpkin in the other, so she’s ready to kick butt.
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Huge Stuffed Crab

Huge Stuffed Crab
Huge Stuffed Crab! Huge Stuffed Crab! What’s it stuffed with? I don’t know. Probably your hopes and dreams and kitten wishes, all riding on the fragrant wind of unicorn farts. This stuffed crab is huge! XXL at least.

I haven’t seen crabs this big since the STD clinic near Fukushima got hit with gamma radiation. Don’t make these crabs angry. You wouldn’t like them when they’re angry. They get all crabby. Which is pretty much expected from a crab actually. They are grabby and crabby. They’ll pinch you and make you all scabby.
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