You know how it is. You’re out zipping through space in your Hot Rod UFO, your space dog’s head hanging out the window, when suddenly Fido has to take a leak. And since you don’t want him lifting his leg in your newly upholstered UFO, you have to make a pit stop. On Earth. But you encounter a lightning storm and you crash. Then some hick finds your alien corpse and your Alien Space Dog Remains. That’s an embarrassing way to go. Your remains are in the hands of those lower life-forms that you have probed endlessly.
I say, you got what you deserved space scum! And if my butt-hole wasn’t so messed up, I’d kick your alien keister! But I have to hit the toilet like now before I erupt! That’s your fault. And stop leaving your dogs all over our planet! *Farts as I run to the bathroom*
Anyway, damn their space dogs are ugly. Big brains though. I bet when you put a treat on it’s nose, it just telekinetically lifts it and carries it into it’s mouth. That seems like something a freaky space pooch would do. At least they are evolved enough to ASK if they can hump your leg. Probably cuddle it after too.
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The world has known many mythical terrors: Bigfoot, The Jersey Devil, The Loch Ness Monster, Miley Cyrus, and of course El Chupacabra. Some say this creature is a government experiment gone wrong. Others speculate that aliens dropped him off on our planet. Personally, I think a stray dog got some bad Taco Bell and instead of getting the three-alarm intestinal fire/three rolls of Charmin runs, like the rest of us, it got horribly mutated instead. What the hell do they put in that stuff?