This is not your grandmother’s cross-stitch. I know, because I asked mine about this Krampus Cross Stitch and she screamed bloody murder and started ranting about the Christmas Devil. Then banned me from visiting her again. The legend of Krampus must include a trip to the Doctor’s office cuz he’s always sticking his tongue out, waiting for the doc to take a look. Open up and say ah Mr. Krampus. Hmmm have you been getting enough sleep? I would ask you for a pee sample, but last time we tried that, your pee of fire melted the sample cup and nearly burned down my office. Let’s just call it the flu shall we? Good? Good. See the receptionist for a prescription.
Tag: art
Albino Bat Spider Faux Taxidermy – Nightmare Fuel
He’s part spider, part bat, all albino. This Albino Bat Spider Faux Taxidermy is great for tricking your friends and telling them that you hunted this beast. Hunted it to extinction, which is why you don’t see them out in the wild. I like that it’s mouth looks so surprised. Whattttt? I’m on somebody’s wall? You sure are. Nice beard by the way. You got that whole snow white Santa thing going on. I bet the chicks love that. Looks distinguished.
Do I call it a spat? A Bider? An Albato? A Spalbino? A Spatbino? I’ll just call it nightmare fuel!
Hand Embroidered Centipedes
This is an original hand embroidery of centipedes crawling around some Cheetos dust. Perfect for framing and putting on your wall. I had this on my tablet sitting on the floor, so at first I thought this was a napkin that I dropped after accidentally eating a bunch of centipedes. So now my tablet has been smashed violently by my foot and is covered in vomit since I induced my anti-centipede vomiting protocol. You win some, you lose some. You puke some. You puke a lot actually. How the hell am I gonna explain this to the guys at Best Buy, when I tell ’em it came like that? Last week it was a puke covered VR helmet!
Rat Crucifix Held Together By Octopus Tentacles With Machine Guns
Are you as confused as I am? This Rat Crucifix Held Together By Octopus Tentacles With Machine Guns is pretty rat-icle. Is it about rats against violence? Octopi against rats doing violence? Rats against Octopus enslavement? I just don’t get what you’re trying to say. As a crucifix I’m pretty sure it would ward off something, I just have no idea what.
All I can say is, stay off the drugs kids. And if you don’t, make art I guess.
Nightmare Monster Doll Christmas Ornaments
“These Nightmare Monster Doll Christmas Ornaments scared the balls off of me.”
-My Christmas tree 2016
Looking for some nightmare fuel to keep the yule log burning all winter long? You’ve found it. These monstrous mutations from LaFemmePetit will scare the ever lovin’ pine needles off your tree and make the holidays horror-filled.
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