Tag: art

Aren’t You A Little Constipated To Be A StormPooper?

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trooper on a pooper
Friend to the site and all around cool guy(He still scares me though) DeadGreedy has another fun bit of Star Wars weirdness. A StormPooper. This Funko Pop figure is reading the paper, trying to force his muscles like a trash compactor, so he can lay some Imperial mines.

I hope he cleans up real good, because everyone knows Stormtroopers can’t shoot straight. Speaking of shooting, why does he need his blaster while on the toilet?

Oh, that’s right. This is a cut scene from George Lucas’ “remastered” Star Wars. I read about this. There was that comedy bit where every time this guy sat down to do his business, he got interrupted by Leia’s rescue. As I recall, it ended with this guy cowering on the Millenium Falcon toilet, as an angry Wookie bursts in, ready to take a hefty “Steamy Ewok”.

Horrifying Pop Culture Icon Prints

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pop art heroes
These nightmarish art prints from Etsy seller WednesdayWolf feature all kinds of pop culture icons as seen through an acid trip lens. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man? Yeah, maybe. If hell is his current neighborhood! Mario and Luigi? Yeah, they’ll fix your pipes. probably work you over with some wrenches too and tie you up and leave you in the tub.

Oh, look. It’s the 10th Doctor. He’ll take you for a ride in his TARDIS and eat your soul, then throw your lifeless body into space to be used as a Dalek speed-bump. Yeah. Somehow I remember these characters being a whole lot less nightmare inducing.

Click through for more.
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Chalkboard Skull

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chalkboard skull
Ancient humans knew how to leave notes for each other. They would just take some ash from their fires and write on the skulls of their dearly departed. They had plenty of writing space too since everyone died at like 23 back then. Once you hit puberty you knew it was all over.

Now you can write messages on skulls too thanks to this handy Chalkboard Skull. They come in all kinds of different fancy colors and styles. Or you could just, you know, use the skull you have and write messages on your own head in sharpie. That’s what I do. Which is probably why I only remember to get eggs when I look in the mirror. Or when I’m walking down the street and people point and laugh, saying, “Hey eggs” or “It’s the egg-man!”

Garbage Patch Runts: Custom Garbage Pail Kids Made From Cabbage Patch Dolls

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Garbage Pail kids dollsMichelle Martin is a brilliant lady. She takes Cabbage Patch Kids, which are already disturbing, and turns them into Garbage Pail Kids, which are even more disturbing. If you want to buy one you can check out the link above. Yeah, these are not your mother’s Cabbage Patch Kids that she beat other adults over the head for and served time for back in the day. Crazy times.

Beating yourself senseless over a doll is not a good idea. Unless it’s a love doll and you are just trying to get one out real quick while you’re alone. But I digress. These monstrosities don’t come with smiles and sweet little adoption papers. These Garbage Pail Kids only come with two things. Crazy mutations and (I’m guessing) a lot of emotional baggage.
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Houseware Of Horrors

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housewares of horrors
Etsy seller shaynegreco has all kinds of housewares with horrible things crawling all over them. Mostly sea creatures. The only time I’ve seen crabs this size crawling on plates was when I visited that “Gentleman’s club/ Diner” in New Orleans. (Bad combination. Do NOT recommend.) At least these won’t be moving and they won’t require a doctor in a hazmat suit to shut down the premises.

This seller has Octopi on platters, crabs on china and other monstrosities that don’t belong on your dishware. Every time you serve yourself on these creepy plates you are fighting creatures for your food. Get off Lobster! Mine! Go find Nemo and leave my food alone!
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