Katy Perry Teenage Dream Left Shark Painting

left shark
Ever since the Super Bowl, everyone is talking about Left Shark. The internet is going crazy for this dancing fool. So what? He made some mistakes. So his timing was a little off. At least he didn’t eat anybody. And that’s really hard to do when you’re in a shark suit.

You know he just wanted to take a bite out of Katy Perry. Me too. She looks delicious. She can be my chum anytime. Plus, do you have any idea how hard it is to dance with an erection? You try it. Throws your whole game off and you can’t even adjust your junk with fins. You need man hands for that.

Anyway, now he is a meme. He’s also an awesome piece of artwork. You just do your thing Left Shark. Be the dancing fool that we love.

Find a “groovy” version here and another version here.
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Custom Built Zombie Crusher With Automatic Machine Gun

zombie crusher
This may not be large enough for me to tool around in during the imminent zombie uprising, but my action figures are gonna love this Zombie Crusher With Automatic Machine Gun. I’ll be taking zombies out with some awesome head shots from above, while my GI Joes and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shoot at their ankles. Pew! Pew! Pew! You’re all clear kid! Let’s blow this thing and go home!

Now I have to find something for my My Little Pony figures to ride around in. That’s right, I said it! I’m a brony. Got a problem? That’s what I thought! Don’t make me go all Rainbow Dash on you! Meaning, I will run away super fast with my colorful jacket and go play with ponies.
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Lovecraft Tormented 3D Wall Hanger

Lovecraft Wall Hanging
This terrifying sculpture is titled “Lovecraft Tormented“. Really? I never would have guessed that by reading his books. They always seemed so light and happy to me. I guess I’ll have stop reading his books to the folks at the mental hospital that I volunteer at. Sure, they cry and ask me to stop. And occasionally see Cthulu break through the wall like the Kool-Aid man, but that’s just because they’re cray cray. Right? Nah. Can’t be the books.

Cthulhuuuuuuu! Cthulhu where are youuuuuuu? See what I did there? That was the Call of Cthulhu. It’s a one man play that I just wrote. I kinda just gave the whole thing away for free, but that’s okay. I know I can take this thing to Broadway.

Taxidermy: Coyote Becomes Poodle Disco Queen

80s coyote
Etsy seller SaySwear’s neighbor made this hot little number. The neighbor came upon a coyote recently hit by a motorist and dead on the side of the road. She did what anyone would do. No, I don’t mean that she poked it with a stick and puked by the side of the road while doubled over. That’s what I would have done. No, she loaded it up and took it to a local taxidermist. Then SaySwear gave “Helen” a Disco makeover.

Funny when you consider that this Coyote’s favorite disco song was “I Will Survive”. At first I was afraid, I was petrified… “Staying Alive” was NOT her song.
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Just Another Pot Head

pot head
This is a Pot Head. This is also your brain while looking at a Pot Head.*Cracks an egg and fries it* It is the creation of Etsy seller museumofwonder, which is impressive. Because most people have to give birth to a Pot Head and let him ferment until his teen years when he starts experimenting. That’s what my parents did anyway.

Stupid Pot Head! Every time I try to cook in you, the food drips out of your mouth and nose like you’re listening to Pink Floyd and drooling. I wouldn’t care so much, except it usually starts a fire.