Tag: awesome

Dragon Head Flats

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Dragon Head FlatsAside from being an awesome band name, Dragon Head Flats are these cool shoes with dragons on them. Also sounds like a place with dragon skulls everywhere. “Hey man, I’ll race ya at dragon head flats!” I am so there. Sadly, these shoes don’t breath fire so you ladies are just gonna have to settle for the old fashioned “kicking us in the balls” when we misbehave, which is a lot. Cuz I’ll probably piss you off with puns like:

Hey you are really draggin’ today. Are you the mother of dragons? Cool, cuz I wanna be the dad.

Stuff like that, cuz I’m what they call an arsehole in the UK and an A-hole everywhere else. Sweet dragons though. You need like dragon print leggings to go with these. See? I offered a good tip. I’m not a complete A-hole. More like a B-Hole cuz I was never an A student, unless I was saying, “Aaaa this sucks.” which it did.

Universal Monsters Hot Wheels Cars Are Awesome

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Universal Monsters Hot Wheels Cars
Guys, I just traveled back in time from 2013 and I brought these sweet Universal Monsters Hot Wheels Cars with me. Okay, I lied. I just found these like 4 years too late, but it’s cool cuz I can still buy them. I can’t wait to race these guys against each other. And have a demolition derby which I’m calling the monster mash! The Creature from the Black Lagoon has a sweet ride, but the interior is all wet and nasty. Dracula won’t show up. You know why? He’d rather do a blood drive! Zing. I still got it. Now, let’s race!
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Dragon Eye Pendants

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Dragon Eye Pendants
It’s the… Eye of the dragon. It’s the thrill of the fight. Rising up to the challenge of our rival.And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night. And… he’s… watching us all… with the eyeeeeeeeee…. of the dragon! Love that song. These sweet Dragon Eye Pendants from CharlieMorgon are watching you and watching me. There’s no telling what they see. Although masturbation is a high probability. Just sayin’. All I’m sayin’ is maybe put some black tape over the eye before you do the deed, just like you would with your webcam. It’s just good advice.
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Brass Hellcat Necklace

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Brass Hellcat NecklaceThis Brass Hellcat Necklace is gonna raise all kinds of hell. It’s gonna scratch your furniture up, knock your drink off the table, sneak some catnip and get all fuzzed up, then lay down for 5 hours and start again. Wait, that’s my cat. No, this necklace is just an awesome piece of jewelry that looks ferocious and badass. Here kitty kitty. Stop biting me. Are you getting drunk on my blood again? Bad kitty! Sorry. Again, that was my cat.

Meowzers that is one cool cat. I’d scratch it’s belly if it had one, which is probably a good thing cuz it would just kick at me with it’s paws and rip my hand to shreds. This necklace is so good it will make you catatonic. Which would be a catas-trophy. Which isn’t the good kind of trophy.

Glass Octopus Pendants

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Glass Octopus Pendants
Hey Octopus! Your ass is grass and I’m the lawn mower. Wait, is that how the saying goes. More like, your ass is glass and I’m the Glassblower. Haha. Burn! Wait, that really sounds wrong. Anyway, these Glass Octopus Pendants are awesome. What’s Kraken? Hopefully not these guys! They can’t take a hit, cuz I heard they have a glass jaw. I wonder where they’re from. Glass-gow? Enough dumb-(gl)ass Octopus jokes. These glass octopus pendants from EmergentGlassworks are going to look great on you. Especially if you are wearing an ocean themed shirt. You ladies are gonna rock-to-pus this octopus.
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