Tag: awesome

The Creature From The Black Lagoon Super Size Action Figure

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The Creature From The Black Lagoon Super Size Action Figure
Super size me! What- Not french fries and a Coke, but I’ll take those too. I’m talkin’ a super sized monster for your toy collection. The Creature From The Black Lagoon Super Size Action Figure. Dude stands 22 inches tall. This is one purchase I won’t feel Gill-ty about. I’m gonna take him in the bath tub with me too. What? Dude needs moisture constantly. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little man and Creature action in the rub-a-dub-tub!

It beats that cheap knock-off version my mom got me called Preacher From The Black Lagoon. You can only pull the string and hear a sermon somany times before you have to kill it with fire. He did have a kick ass preacher outfit dripping with seaweed though.
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Dragon Wings For Adults

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Dragon Wings For AdultsWhoa! Pretty wings! These Dragon Wings For Adults are strong enough for a mannequin, but made for real living humans. They are beautiful and elegant… But enough about my strange fixation with mannequins. These wings are awesome. Imma get me a pair and have adventures and stuff. Only thing is, what is the weight limit on these? These things may or may not get me 6 inches off the ground. See, they call me Puff the Magic Dragon. Not cuz I’m a stoner, cuz I’m puffy and kinda fat. I do live by the sea though and frolic in the autumn mist. In a land called Sarah Lee. Effin’ love that cheesecake.

Just remember folks, dragon wings for adults beats adult diapers with wings. Whatever that means. Obviously I lied. You have to be a stoner to talk this kind of nonsense. Why am I even blogging? I could do this shizz in the street and actually have people throw money in a hat! Well, I’m off to my new gig. Laterz.

Hey, you think Knights gathered round a round table and ate dragon wings the way we eat chicken wings? Think about it. Seriously though, those mannequins right? Am I the only one who finds Dragon Barbie here, sexy? This Barbie looks kinda evil. And medieval. Probably drag me back to her Barbie Malibu Leech house and give me a bloodletting.

BTW is it really a bloodletting if you don’t let them, but they do it anyway?
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Kraken Attacking Submarine Pint Glasses

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Kraken Attacking Submarine Pint Glasses
Do you notice anything strange about this image here? I don’t know, just something out of the ordinary? Well, yes I know that these Kraken Attacking Submarine Pint Glasses look awesome cuz the Kraken is all like, “Say Uncle! Just stay down!” and is grunting and stuff, while the submarine is all like, “Stop giving me a noogie. I’m telling mom!”, but what else? Still don’t see it? Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all. I don’t want to be rude or anything. Psst! *Whispers* Somebody peed in that pint glass. And by the amber coloring and cloudiness, I would say they drank a full bodied ale and didn’t have any supper. Also, those kidneys are not happy. Look at all the froth!

Godzilla Necktie

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Godzilla Necktie
Stop stomping around the office you imbecile! And get those reports on my desk within the hour. Sorry boss, but this sweet Godzilla Necktie just kind of takes over, you know? I’m stomping around Tokyo. Those staplers and other company property that I just crushed with my feet? That’s Tokyo. I’ll get those reports to you within the hour sir.

Forty minutes later…

*Bursts through the bosses wall like the Kool-Aid man, with a loud monster shriek, flailing my arms as I drop the report on the desk.* I’m fired aren’t I? Yeah, I’ll just pack up my stuff. It’s been fun.

Tentacles Of Terror – Kraken Bookends

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Tentacles Of Terror - Kraken Bookends
I really need to get kraken on my reading. Get it? These Kraken Bookends will help me keep my books organized. Look at that tentacle just attacking that ship and breaking it in half. I bet he flexed his tentacle muscles afterward too, like “Yeah son! That’s what’s up! You just got krakalacka kracked! Boo-Ya!”