Tag: awesome

SPAM Recipes Playing Cards

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

http://www.perpetualkid.com/spam-recipes-playing-cards.aspx
SPAM. The magical meat. The more on your plate, the warmer your seat. These SPAM playing cards have recipes on them, so you and the rest of the guys can all make toxic SPAM farts on Poker night while eating SPAM treats.

I got a full house, “SPAM and Pasta Nachos” high.

Royal Flush here, “Baked Apples with SPAM King” is high.

What do you have Bob?

*Bob covers his mouth and runs for the bathroom*

Bob’s got diarrhea.

Me too, but I ain’t whining about it. Hand me another slice of that Lemon SPAM cake would you? These are the best cards ever!

Own The Night: Bat Pajama Costume

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bat pajama costume
Every night will be an adventure with this Bat Pajama costume. My wife will be all like “Hey stop hitting me with your flappy wings. And your ear just poked my eye!”

I’ll be all like “Eeek. Eeeek. Eeeek.” Followed by more intense wing flapping action. Then I’ll bite her neck and fly off in a puff of smoke to sleep upside down in the doorway. Until I sleep so deep that I fall and hit my head anyway. Although she may get up to pee before that ever happens, because her bladder is as active as my wings. In which case, I’ll get punched in the gut and THEN fall and hit my head. Then I’ll have to use my sonar to find the couch.

UFO Table Lamps With Hot Rod Paint Jobs

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

ufo lampThese UFO lamps are…wait for it…Out of this world! They look like little bumper car UFOs that a small person could get in and fly around the house, destroying all of your vases and figurines and stuff. I’m gonna put on my awesome alien jacket and go for a ride, like I’m in a pinball machine.

Three concussions later, I’ll wake up just before the wife gets home and call the cops, informing them about the break in. I have no idea what they wanted, but they really worked me over good. That should stop her from killing me.

Etsy seller SHINYARTY has all kinds of awesome UFO table lamps that I am sadly too big to fit inside, all painted up like awesome hot rods.
Read more “UFO Table Lamps With Hot Rod Paint Jobs”

Super Awesome Trading Cards

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

super awesome trading cardsAwesome. No, super awesome! I love me some trading cards and these Super Awesome Trading Cards are the best. If I was still a kid, I would totally put some of these in my bicycle spokes so it would sound like a motorcycle and trade Abe Lincoln for a Narwhal.

These are just like the cards you collected as a kid, only cooler. And now, instead of leaving cards laying around the house for my mom to complain about and throw out, I can leave them lying around the house for my wife to complain about and throw out. This nerdy man-baby has come full circle!

You can collect all kinds of awesome cards like: Martians, Bigfoot,Abe Lincoln, wizards, zombies and more.
Read more “Super Awesome Trading Cards”

Menorasaurus Rex

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

t-rex menorahCelebrate Hanukkah with this cool Menorasaurus Rex and celebrate by lighting candles on a T-Rex. You probably already have a menorah, but I bet it isn’t a gold dinosaur. It is a gold painted plastic dino toy with metal candle cups attached.

Make your home into a Jewrassic Park this holiday season with this special piece of holiday decor. You can display it year round.

Thanks Jeremy.
Read more “Menorasaurus Rex”