Tag: bat

Scary Laser Cut Necklaces

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Scary Laser Cut Necklaces
These Scary Laser Cut Necklaces from CuriologyLtd are so spooky and scary. They will turn your neck into a haunted scene that will turn heads a full 360 degrees like in The Exorcist. But don’t worry, they won’t spit green pea soup at you as they are admiring your necklace. These scenic necklaces are all laser cut. Not phaser cut. Laser cut. Phasers don’t cut well enough, cuz it’s just a phase, but lasers? Lasers will cut you and blind you and kill space aliens. They probably cut these with a friggin’ ray-gun. Pew pew pew! Look what I created!

They have black magic cats, spiders, all kinds of creepy neck wear.
Read more “Scary Laser Cut Necklaces”

Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster
Hang this Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster on your wall and you will feel like a fancy bat scientist. You know what you call a Bat scientist? A Batman! Your assistant’s name could be Robin. Study this poster day and night and you will become smarter in the ways of the bat. The next step is building a bat cave. I think you know the rest. Using your billionaire resources to genetically alter your appearance until you are a bat. THEN you will be ready to fight crime.

Or you know, just enjoy this in your home.
Read more “Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster”

Dig These Crazy Creature Fossils

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Dig These Crazy Creature Fossils
These creature fossils from Dustfull let you have some neat creature bones in your home without having to dig them up. I know that my neighbors get really pissed when I dig in their yard, even though I know for a fact that there is a giant T-Rex buried there. Hey, I was as quiet as I could be with that bulldozer. They don’t come with silencers. If they did I would be digging everywhere at night and stealing bones.

They have mermaid fossils, bats, dragons and more. I told you dragons exist! But no, you wouldn’t listen. Why would they show them on Game of Thrones if they were fake? Next you’ll be telling me that half the boobs on the internet are fake. Whatevs. Do your research.
Read more “Dig These Crazy Creature Fossils”

Bat Coin Purse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bat Coin Purse
The next time you’re hanging out in the cemetery and you need some change, just reach for your hand dandy bat coin purse that is wrapped around your arm. Why you would need change in a cemetery, I have no idea. Maybe they have vending machines there now. Been awhile since I hung out in graveyards. Too boring. It’s always so dead there. Vending machines would really help. That way you could also just leave coins for the dearly departed in case they need a snack. It wouldn’t be the first time a spirit has wandered aimlessly under the pale moonlight looking for a Baby Ruth. No biggie. I do that in my sleep all the time. Sometimes I actually manage to find one. One time I did wake up clutching a turd in a truck stop restroom though. I probably should curb my hunger.

When I get rich I’m so putting vending machines in cemeteries. They’ll leave the change for their loved ones and I’ll sweep it up every night. Put it in a giant pile and dive in it everyday. I’m so awesome. I love me. Gonna buy me something special when I get rich.
Read more “Bat Coin Purse”

Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag
The legend of Ghost bat lives on! Ghost bat. Other bats fear him, because deep down inside, they want to be just like him. He’s a bat. He’s a ghost. He’s the ghost bat with the most. Screw that Casper guy. The Ghost-Bat Shoulder Bag is awesome. How they trapped the soul of a bat on a shoulder bag, I have no idea, but it is cool as f**k. eeekkkkkk. ekkkkkkkkkk. Wait, do they ekkk or shriek. Now I’m not sure. I know they like to poop in caves. Hey, it’s always preferable to poop indoors when given the choice. Otherwise you have to use this.