Prepare your crayolas and your peepers for a Big foot sighting! The Cryptozoology Coloring Book is all about coloring those crazy creepy cryptids! Want a pink Sasquatch? Wait, that sounds dirty! My point is, you can make Bigfoot any color you want. The Loch Ness Monster too. It features 22 legendary animals from around the world. Color me stoked! This activity book is for kids or adults. I know what I’m doing this Saturday night! I call it crying and coloring, then crying some more. I’m looking forward to it. *sad tears*.
Read more “Grab Your Crayolas – Cryptozoology Coloring Book”
Tag: bigfoot
Cool Bigfoot Lunchbox – You Will Believe
Pack a lunch in this Bigfoot Lunchbox. I’m gonna pack a honking huge Sasquatch sammich. Along with some Yeti Yogurt. You can take this hiking in the forest too, so that when Bigfoot attacks you while eating, he can know how famous he is. It will probably make him smile. Then he’ll go back to killing you and then sit and enjoy your lunch. Then take this lunchbox home to his kid.
Sasquatch Metal Bottle Opener – I Want To Believe
Sasquatch, Yeti, Bigfoot, Yowie, Skunk Ape, Turd Burglar… Whatever you call him, the elusive hairy mofo is the stuff of legend. And guess what? Legends get bottle openers in their likeness. Like this Sasquatch Metal Bottle Opener. Just put your cap in Bigfoot’s chest and pop that top. Then report the incident and no one will believe you. Because that’s what Bigfoot does. He makes you look like an A-Hole. Thanks a lot you hairy, smelly freak.
Authentic Bigfoot Call
Guys this is the most accurate Bigfoot calling device ever, at least since that spicy taco fart I did while camping in 1976, which resulted in a three Bigfoots circling my tent wondering what that trash smell was and if the mountain was on fire with ass somehow. This Authentic Bigfoot Call seems totally legit. I’m willing to take their word for it, mostly cuz I’m too lazy to look up a video on Youtube. I’m sure it doesn’t sound anything like a kazoo f**king a duck or anything like that. Just blow into it and it will call a Bigfoot. So it is basically a Bigfoot phone. You know how else you can call a Bigfoot? Hang up a dead goat in the forest and wait. This device is much less messy. Also where do you even find a goat that isn’t part of a meme? No idea.
Bigfoot Pocket Journal 3 Pack
I gotta get me this Bigfoot Pocket Journal 3 Pack cuz I always see Bigfoot in the woods, and one time at the 7-11, but that last one may have been some lady with a LOT of testosterone. I couldn’t tell by the grunting or the big booty waddle. I’d use these to recount all of my Bigfoot sightings.
December 17th Saw Bigfoot taking a deuce in a forest stream. *Draws picture of Sasquatch all bent over and grunting,dropping a cleveland steamer that kills a frog.* January 5th. Saw Bigfoot masturbating. Stepped on a twig and he quickly stopped and pretended he was sleeping all along. *Draws Bigfoot doing his thing. Writes HAHA with an arrow pointing towards his tiny weenie.*
I would fill these things in 5 seconds. People doubt that he exists, but how can you not see him? He’s like ten feet tall.