Door stoppers? More like heart stoppers. Am I right guys? High Five. No? Okay whatevs. Of course, I’ve always been a butt man. That’s not just the name I use to stop crime in my neighborhood. It’s also a preference. These Beach Babe Butts Door Stoppers are gonna look awesome in my house. And since I usually kick my door stoppers into place under the door, this is gonna be extra fun. I can’t wait to kick those beach babe butts right in the bikini bottom. Get in there and stop my door you lazy beach bum!
Tag: bizarre
Crazy Freaky Japanese Stress Balls With Faces
These Japanese Stress Balls With Faces are so creepy and nasty I don’t even want to look at ’em. But it’s my job. They are little nightmare baby faces that you can squeeze when you’re having a bad day. And I would imagine that everyday is a bad day when you are carrying these things around with you. Squeezing them seems to unleash even more terror. They come in gray and white, but they are equally terrifying and willall haunt your dreams.
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That’s Dino-Sexy! – Dinosaur Bone Bra
Excuse me miss, I couldn’t help but notice your Dinosaur Bone Bra. I happen to be an archeologist and I wondered if I might dig in your field so to speak, in hopes of unearthing proof of the elusive Boob-asaurus Rex. *Smack* A simple No would have sufficed ma’am. No matter, the Jurassic period isn’t my favorite anyway. *Smack* Well, looks like I found a TYRANT-asaurus! *Smack* I’ll leave now cuz I’m sick of getting smacked. But science has suffered several terrible smacks this day.
Should Be Official – Fifty Shades of Grey LEGO Set
Toys sure have changed since I was a kid. This custom Fifty Shades of Grey LEGO set comes with two mini figures. Also a whip, handcuffs and restraints. Kids these days.
Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted
This is a cell phone video from China that supposedly shows a mysterious creature briefly emerging from a lake while a bunch of onlookers panic and make noise. The footage was filmed at a lake in China’s Louping County, and shows a dark object causing ripples on the surface of the water. Then another part of the creature suddenly pops up out of the lake and witnesses can be heard gasping and shouting some more.
Let’s see, we have bubbling and ripples on the water. My research suggests that this is yet another case of the “Nessie farting” phenomenon. No wonder the witnesses are freaking out. Nessie farts reak. Nessie rips some farts and the bubbles rise, rippling the water when they hit the surface. Sometimes you lose control and poop hits the surface. Don’t believe me? Get in the bathtub and let one rip. I just tested my theory a minute ago. In fact I’m still in the tub. Just did it again. Hang on, gotta plug my laptop in again. Rips a huge one. Hey, look at me, I’m Nessie.
*Creates a wave that hits my laptop and electrocutes me for like ten minutes. We’ll talk later when I get out of my coma.*
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